Once Upon A Time
by Taranea
Summary: Shadow is living with an evil stepfamily, Sonic is a Prince forced to look for a bride, the ball is approaching and having three crazed fairy godmothers doesn't make things easier AT ALL...It's Cinderella - Sonadow style! Fluff, hilarity and Silvamy. :D
1. Not Your Average Princess

Hi there and welcome to Once Upon a Time! If you like the pairing, you should love this. If you _don't_ like the pairing, I think you should have fun as well, there's het romance and more comedy than anything. ;) Plus, I will hereby claim that characters will be IC (well...with one exception) throughout the story, and I challenge you to prove me wrong! :D Also, please note that there will be no Amy bashing, I like her. Please have fun and tell me what you thought!

_Side note:_ Yes, much explanatory stuff at the beginning. Action starts midway through chapter. Please enjoy!

* * *

**Once Upon a Time**

_by Taranea_

xxx

_The first chapter, telling of the horrible life of a stepson, strange siblings, and leeches. _

**Chapter 1: Not Your Average Princess **

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away - or rather, a few clicks on fanfictionnet, but let´s keep this traditional – once upon a time, there was a very unhappy hedgehog.

"Shadow! Heat the water for the tub! And _where´s_ my dinner?!"

"Shadow! If you haven´t heated the water for your sister in five minutes I´ll skin you alive!"

"And my dinner!"

"_And_ her dinner!"

"I´m coming! I´m coming! I hope she drowns in her bath!"

"_Shadow!" _

Shadow, indeed, was treated like a slave by both his stepsister and stepfather…but of course, it hadn´t always been this way. Late at night, when he had a few precious hours to himself before he had to rise again in the darkness to prepare breakfast for his 'family', he wistfully remembered how his life had been long ago…

He had been living together with his adopted sister Maria and his creator. Gerald, who had been a very skillful alchemist, had actually created the black hedgehog as a pet for his beloved granddaughter, before he grew so fond of him that Shadow had been accepted into the family. Those years had been bliss. But then, when Shadow was still quite young, tragedy struck and Maria succumbed to a deadly disease…and Gerald´s demise followed soon thereafter as the old man was overcome by grief.

He had arranged for a caretaker and stepfather for Shadow as he felt his end coming, but unfortunately, the only one he knew was a fellow alchemist and noble of the higher court called Black Doom.

Sadly, drawing clues from names had never been Gerald´s specialty.

Black Doom, who had always acted friendly and cordially around the old man, accepted the responsibility without hesitation. He promised to take care of the young hedgehog and took him away as soon as the dying alchemist had breathed his last.

It was only then that Black Doom began to show his _true_ colours.

"Shadow! You´re _late_ with the cooking!"

"Yes, he is! Dad, why do I have such a _horrible_ stepbrother!"

They made him perform all the lowliest duties and never let him have a moment´s peace. And Shadow couldn´t even run away – his stepfather had made it known to him, that in _this _case, he would be hunted down as an illegal experiment if Black Doom informed the local authorities. Shadow didn´t doubt that. Everyone knew that the sinister figure of the strange creature that governed his life was quite close to the royal family and had lots of influence.

So the young black hedgehog had suffered all those years in silence…

"I _know _I´m late, uncle! Look, it´s not _my_ fault that your goddamn offspring wanted freakin strawberries in the middle of _January -_"

"Cease this insolence at once!"

"OW! You didn´t have to hit me again, you sick jerk-!"

Well, not _quite_ in silence.

A swipe of energy knocked the hedgehog off his feet and he was smashed against the wall where he lay motionless, until his stepfather´s claw-like hand grabbed him by his chest fur and raised him again. Shadow leveled a somewhat dizzy glare at his tormentor.

"I hate you."

"I don't care. You will be working tonight until you collapse from exhaustion. Now go and fix dinner already, if you want to see your bed at all."

Which was a nice way to phrase it. Shadow´s 'bed' was actually the fireplace, since he wasn´t even deemed worthy of a room. All his clothes, such as fine gloves and shoes, had been taken away and been replaced with rags, so that everyone thought him a street urchin or slave at first sight. He was also continually dirty, since he slept in the ashes and cinders, which had earned him the name 'Shadow' in the first place – Black Doom had suggested 'Cinderello' at first, but luckily Shadow´s stepsister had declared that name insane. ('Where did you get _this _idea?!')

Despite that, the female was the meanest person the hedgehog knew. She was incredibly vain, (but ugly at the same time) and arrogant to everyone apart from her father, ridiculing Shadow for his undignified appearance every time she could.

The hedgehog sighed and started boiling the leeches for his two horrible relatives. With any luck, their favourite food would work as a pacifier. He looked at himself in the reflection of a shiny pan and wondered whether his stepsister might be right. Apart from being dusty all over, Shadow was too thin and lean for his age because of the scarce food he got. He had managed to acquire some muscles due to the hard work he did each day, but they weren´t adding much to his slender frame. His fur was unkempt and the red stripes on his limbs and quills hadn´t been shining for a long time…Shadow idly wondered if they would maybe look good if he could ever get himself clean.

Testing with a stick whether the leeches were now the right stage of slimy, he sighed again and took the kettle off the fire, carrying two portions out to his 'family'.

"Very well. It seems as if you could get at least something right," Black Doom grumbled and inclined his horned head to suck up some more of the dish. Shadow, munching listlessly on some old potato, screwed his face up in disgust while his stepsister crooned in delight and had already eaten half of her plate.

"Yes, that´s right, darling, eat it all up. You want to look nice and well-fed for the Prince."

Shadow groaned. That _goddamn_ ball again.

"What was that, Shadow?" his stepfather growled.

"Face it, uncle. The Prince is _not_ going to marry her. Ever." Shadow knew he was probably digging his own grave at the moment but he simply couldn´t stand the nonsense much longer.

"Oh yes? And why, pray tell would anyone think so?! Your sister is the most _gorgeous _girl in the entire kingdom and she-"

"She´s a friggin floating starfish, for heaven´s sake! The Prince would _scream_ if he saw her!"

"Daddy!" The reddish eye-orb in the middle of the starfish now looked slightly wobbly and close to tears.

"How _dare_ you speak like that to your sister Eyeleen!"

"It´s not my fault this is a freak family! It´s your goddamn alchemy that did it! And your puns make it worse!"

"Enough! The ramifications of your disobedience will be severe!"

"You say that like three times a day!"

"No dinner for you this evening! No sleep for you tonight! I will make your life _hell_ until that day of the ball comes _and _you will help your sister with her dress!"

Shadow grit his teeth but didn't say anything more to make it worse. That goddamn ball. The Queen was trying to get the Prince to choose someone to wed during the event and that floating eyeball hadn´t been able think of anything else since she, like all girls in the kingdom, had received the invitation.

Not that they'd allow _him_ to go as well to see something else than this dump for once. No. There was no one at all that had the slightest shred of sympathy for him, he knew that.

In short, Shadow felt like the loneliest hedgehog on Earth.

_To be continued..._

* * *

Liked it? :D The next chapter will introduce our other protagonists and get the plot moving. (gasp!) Please stay tuned for:

_The second part, telling of Shadow trying to sort not-quite-lenthills, questionable orientations, and one supersonic hedgehog taking a rushed trip into the forest. _

**Chapter 2: Not Your Average Prince...**


	2. Not Your Average Prince

_The second part, telling of Shadow trying to sort out not-quite-lenthills, questionable orientations and one Prince taking a rushed trip into the forest. _

**Chapter 2: Not Your Average Prince **

"Prince Sonic! Please do pay attention!"

The addressed hedgehog sighed. "I _am, _Rosie."

"Well, then you´re not looking as if you did, my Prince," the frowning squirrel replied, patiently holding out two pairs of white silk gloves that looked exactly alike to Sonic. "Now which pair should it be?"

"I don´t _know!_ There´s no difference! Is any of them possessed and will strangle my dancing partners, or what?"

"Please, my Prince, you have to look the best for the ball," the nurse continued, indicating the other parts of the outfit they had already chosen. (Well…she had picked out those ones Sonic had regarded with the least abhorrence, at least.)

The Prince flopped back into his chair, displaying his amazing disability to grasp the concept of royal poise and grace once more. "Oh, Rosie…I don´t want to go to that ball at all."

"That is silly, Sonic." The elderly woman smiled, easily slipping into the address she had used earlier, when he had still been a child. "There will be lots of pretty young girls wanting to meet you. You should look forward to it."

_That is exactly my problem, _the blue hedgehog thought, but didn´t say anything further.

Once Rosie had taken a few final measurements around his waist and then disappeared, Sonic sighed.

"Choose a girl, choose a girl…that´s so easy for _them_ to say."

He raised himself again and trotted over to the window, looking over the castle grounds and to the horizons beyond, frowning. It wasn´t that he didn´t know any girls. He just had never felt anything like _love_ for them. Most were just friends.

_I bet they wish I´d be more like Amy, _he thought, snorting.

His younger sister, the Princess, was usually head-over-heels for anything even remotely male (or even her own species). She was going through boyfriends like Sonic through running shoes (and boy, was it hard to find some decent ones in a medieval fairy-tale setting), although her brother thought the current one might just be Mr. Right.

From the room next to his he could hear her giggles and chuckled, as the next sound was the surprised shriek from a young, male voice. Amy had recently taken a liking to the son of a befriended count, and Silver was probably right now in the room with her and finding out that Amy might not have the running speed of her brother, but could seat herself in someone's lap even faster, if she wanted to. The prince was secretly betting that the poor argent hedgehog would probably lose his single-status and/or virginity by the end of the month.

Sonic thought about the two and snorted, then did a double take as he suddenly saw his reflection in the mirror. He was _blushing…_but it couldn´t be because of Amy…the girl was his _sister,_ for the gods´ sake…so was it because of _Silver_? But that was a guy…

_T__hen again, he _IS _kind of cute. _

_...wait a moment. _

_Where did that thought come from?! _

Sonic held his head in his hands. It was true…he _had _looked at the other hedgehog sometimes and wished he could sit next to him on the couch, too…but…did that really mean…?

_Oh gods. _

Lots of guards´ heads turned as a very distressed prince was once again running past them at sonic speed.

xxx

"Shadow! Wash your sister´s feet!"

"She doesn´t _have_ any feet!"

"Then wash her tentacles!"

The black hedgehog groaned and went to work, all the while avoiding the rest of the starfish´s limbs which were wriggling around like mad with giddyness.

"Oh, Shadow, I´m going to go to the ball!"

"Yeah. Great."

"And the Prince is going to marry me!"

"Yeah. Sure."

"And I will be Queen!"

_Whoever that prince is, I pity that poor guy already._

_...or I would pity him, if he wasn't getting this star-shaped ulcer off my back for one evening in the process._ Shadow said nothing and continued with his work.

His stepsister´s eye narrowed briefly at this lack of reaction. She calmed her flailing a little and then turned towards him again, this time her tone carefully neutral.

"Say, brother…wouldn´t you like to go to the ball, too?"

He snorted. "Yeah, right. As if your father would let me."

"Well…" she gave a little pause here before she continued in an odd casual tone, "…maybe if you just asked him, he would give you a chance."

"Uh-huh." Shadow had now started the rather grotesque task of trying to get his 'sibling' into a dress – also a quite _difficult_ venture, since the creature had three arms too much and no waist to speak of…plus a distinctive lack of other female 'assets' that usually serve to hold a strapless dress in place.

Nevertheless, Eyeleen insisted on wearing a corset as well, which didn´t make things easier _at all._

"And why would he-" Shadow stopped and grunted, as he got to a rather horrible part, which was were all the tentacles should go while he was forcing the corset to hold, "-do that, pray tell?"

"A favour for a favour, brother." She gave a little laugh, that sounded incredibly _wrong_, but ignored Shadow´s wincing, "There´s still some rather…difficult chores to be done, I understand. Perhaps you can make him an offer?"

xxx

Later, while Shadow was going through all of his other cleaning duties and tasks, he mused on the words of the starfish. Hell, when he thought about it, he would actually _like_ to go to the ball…anything to get away from this place…well, as long as the alchemist didn't want something ridiculous from him, like 'Destroy all the GUN soldiers!' (Shadow _still_ didn't have a clue what he'd meant with that), it might even be worth a shot.

It took all of his courage that night (and all of his mental volume to silence the voices screaming 'This is futile, you idiot! You want to end up a hedgehog _pancake_, or what?!' in his head) to walk into the room of his 'uncle' and speak to him.

"…Black Doom?"

"What is it? Have you finished your work for today?" The monstrosity grumbled, not really taking any of the three eyes off the newspaper they were currently focused on.

"I have. I wanted to…" he had to force the next words out, ancient survival instincts insisting that he was right now digging his own grave, "…I wanted to ask whether I could go to the ball with Eyeleen and you."

Three red orbs stared at him, uncomprehending.

"You _what_?"

"You heard me." A note of defiance had crept into his voice once again, even if he knew that was not likely to get him anywhere. The eye ridges of Black Doom were already dangerously bunching together again, indicating that a personal 'Mars Attacks!' scenario for Shadow was only seconds away if he didn't think fast now.

"Eyeleen has said you might let me go if I finished some 'difficult chores' for you. She wasn´t being specific, though."

The thunderstorm seemed to have passed. Black Doom leaned back again, his expression now less angry and more oddly interested.

"Has she? Oh well, in that case…" he pursed his lips, which is _not_ something you want to see when the purser only has a sucking hole for a mouth. The young hedgehog´s ears unconsciously pricked up in hopefulness at this new tone.

"…I think I might have something for you. Come with me." Shadow didn´t know it, but if Black Doom could, he would have grinned.

xxx

"_You want me to what?!"_ Shadow was stunned.

"Kill all of the Hero Chao in my farm. I´m raising Dark ones only."

Black Doom indicated with a wave of his arm the pens over pens that were stretching into the distance.

"There´s freakin _thousands!"_ the ebon hedgehog was swaying between furious anger and disbelief. How could his adopted uncle _do_ this to him?! First build up hope and then let it crash, it was like breaking the wings of a bird before he´d left the nest!

Or like pushing back the European release date of _Brawl_ again. Whatever.

"Well, you knew I had a big farm. And I have a feeling it´s the gravestone for that wretched Maria of yours that you set up which let so many of them turn Hero in the last few months. I can´t have them contaminating my entire stock, so sort them out."

"Maria…was not…_wretched_…" Shadow was trembling with anger, grinding his teeth and clenching his fists as he glared up into the face of Black Doom.

"Whatever. My offer remains, though. Get rid of all these halo-wearing pests by tomorrow morning and I will take you to the ball." With a sort of liquid shrug, the alien-like creature turned and floated away ignoring Shadow´s various cries of 'until _tomorrow morning?!', _'you want me to _kill_ them?!' and 'what on Earth is inside your skull?! Cause, It can´t possibly be a _brain_!'

Black Doom didn´t even spare the ranting hedgehog a second glance.

"Tough Luck. Try it or not, your choice."

Shadow stared after the retreating form, wondering what on Earth he must have done in a former life to deserve this.

_Maybe setting small kids on fire was my hobby or something, _he thought surly. _But geez, fate, it's not as if I ever tried to blow up a planet. _

Undertaking this chore would take the entire night. And the ball was already tomorrow. Nevertheless, he would have to get to work. Shadow picked up one of the Hero Chao from the pens that had skipped close to him, large friendly eyes smiling up into his face. Would he even be able to do what Black Doom wanted from him?

His hand gently closed around the neck of the small creature, preparing to stop the airflow to its lungs.

It started to rain.

xxx

Prince Sonic was sitting. His face was creased with worry and he was staring out at the small lake where he was currently perched on a stone, wondering just how on Mobius he was going to get out of this mess.

"So…I don´t like girls. Not that way, anyway. And tomorrow, I´m going to have to choose a bride. Okay," he repeated, more to himself, trying to once more chew over the facts he already knew and to possibly find a solution in a calm and rational manner.

Then, he dropped onto his kness and tore at his quills. "Auuughh! This isn´t going _anywhere_! I might as well just kill myself! Mom´s going to do that for sure, anyway!" He pounded the ground once with his fist in sheer exasperation.

The wind picked up and he shuddered. He wasn´t wearing anything but his shoes, a thing to which he was unused. As a Prince, Sonic usually wore at least a shirt and a silken vest, if not being fully clothed. As a guy, he didn´t really _need_ anything to cover himself per se, but Rosie for the most part insisted on a finer attire, to distinguish himself from the commoners. Right now, Sonic didn´t really wish to be recognized as anybody, though. He had fled out here into the forest for some alone time and covered more than ten miles with his speed. The sun had already sunk beneath the horizon and now the Prince shivered in his blue fur. At the castle, Sonic estimated, all hell had probably already broken loose, now that the heir of the throne had gone missing a day before the big ball.

"Maybe I should just jump into that stupid lake and save everyone a whole load of trouble," he muttered miserably. Sonic usually was an optimist, but right now the thought of having to spend his entire life with somebody he couldn´t possibly ever love held his heart in a vice, threatening to squish it.

It started to rain.

xxx

Shadow, by contrast, was running. And stumbling, and slipping and falling and getting up again and running on. All with yet another three little passengers, going 'wheeee!' all the way.

_Goddamned _cuteness.

Of course he hadn´t been able to harm a single one of them. Of course he had been seeing Maria´s face looking so incredibly disappointed if he even _thought_ about killing them to go to the ball. Of course he now had to spend the entire night running through this dark, wet forest to deposit the Hero Chao somewhere safe so a) they wouldn´t get killed later and b) he could at least _pretend_ to have finished his mission.

xxx

At the lake, Sonic stood up and faced the liquid, gleaming silver in the moonlight. He _hated_ water. He couldn´t even swim. But right now, it seemed so tempting…

His fur was drenched. It probably wouldn´t even feel that bad if he went into the water now. Shivering, he gave a mirthless smirk. What a pathetic picture of a ruler he was. Soaked, naked and shivering, somewhere out in the wilderness, contemplating suicide.

"Yeah, that´s probably the best thing. When it's confirmed I'm actually dead and not just run away, Amy is legally the eldest child, she can become Queen, marry Silver, mom´s happy and everyone has a new ruling couple. A couple with a Queen that squeals on a regular basis, but still better than me, I guess…"

He stepped forward. Then froze, as suddenly something came crashing through the woods.

"What...?!"

"Aagh!"

The twigs and branches in front of him were torn apart. A dark form came tumbling through them, the newcomer barely catching their balance again on the wet soil. Three Chao that had been with the stranger fluttered away wildly, immediately loving the clearing.

The figure straightened. It was a male hedgehog, jet-black fur hardly recognizable against the dark background, but the red highlights in his quills were gleaming in the rays of the moon. The only things he wore were a sash tied round his waist and a vest, both made from a coarse, brown fabric that was already torn in places. He looked almost like a slave.

Never his eyes, though.

His stance, his demeanor, the fire in his gaze spoke of pride, and an almost unbreakable will of its owner, even when the dark hedgehog looked around wildly, trying to take in his new surroundings.

Then their eyes locked. Both gasped. Sonic suddenly felt _very_ vulnerable.

He also hoped the other hadn't noticed his jaw dropping.

_To be continued..._

* * *

The only way to get Amy to let go of Sonic? Make her his sister. Everything else means war.

Second chappie up! :D Hope you liked it, and the image of Doom's eye in a dress didn't mentally scar you, or something - so you'll be looking forward to next week, when there will be:

_The third part, telling of highly confused Princes, sparkly dresses, and downright Disney rip-offs. _

**Next up: Fairy_what_ Now?!**

Meanwhile, PLEASE review!


	3. FairyWHAT Now!

_The third part, telling of sparkly dresses, feathery assistance, and downright Disney rip-offs. _

**Chapter Three: Fairy **_**What**_** Now?! **

Shadow stared. In front of him stood a male blue hedgehog. A…beautiful blue hedgehog…

His groomed fur was glistening from the rain. Jade green eyes were staring at him, surprised and even frightful. The dark hedgehog thought he could see every muscle of that slender frame tense…

The blue one opened his mouth.

"Who-?"

And Shadow bolted.

"No, WAIT!"

The voice called out after him, and even though it was distorted in his panic and from the distance, something inside the black hedgehog squirmed at hearing it and wanted to go back.

_I can´t_, he told himself, _I have to finish my job_. But there was something else, too…

Shadow was confused. He had thought that other hedgehog had been _beautiful_…

xxx

Sonic was running. He had tried to follow the other hedgehog, but the dark one apparently knew the terrain so well that he had managed to elude the Prince despite his speed. The blue hedgehog stopped in the middle of the forest, panting.

_Who was he?_ _Could he be a runaway slave? And when I saw him, why did I…? _

Just wanting to be at home again, Sonic dashed for the castle, completely unaware of the light blush that had once again settled on his cheeks.

xxx

Shadow, meanwhile, was trying to convince his heart to stay in his chest instead of bursting through his rib cage. He was _exhausted. _It had been two hours since he'd seen the blue stranger at the lake and he hadn't dared to go back there. Which unfortunately meant that he now had to carry the Chao a lot farther and through more dangerous terrain than originally intended.

He had only made the thirteenth trip or so and already felt like coughing his lungs out. Cuts and bruises of varying depth lined his entire fur, adding unwanted crimson streaks to his other highlights. As he was just approaching the pens for the fourteenth trip, Shadow stumbled again in the dark and fell face first into a mud puddle.

This entire gig couldn't _possibly_ get any worse.

And then, the Flickies attacked him.

That is, not really. But it took a whole ten minutes of flailing and screaming until Shadow realized that the horde of wild, neon-coloured birds that had swooped down upon him didn´t want to harm, but to _help._

With friendly tweeting and fluttering they signalled that they had heard of his sad predicament (or rather, they had heard his colourful curses) and now had come to carry all of the hero Chao away to their island, where the small creatures would be safe. A weird turn of events, to be sure, but not an unwanted one, since it meant that Shadow would finally be able to return to his home and get some sweet, sweet rest.

xxx

Or so he had hoped, anyway.

"Shadow! Where have you been!" Black Doom scolded as the ebon hedgehog stumbled through the door gasping for breath and looking so much the worse for wear.

"I…was eliminating…the Hero Chao…like you told me to…" he managed in between lungfuls and collapsed to the floor.

"Well, watch it then. You´re staining the carpet."

"I´m…so sorry I´m _bleeding_…"

Unfortunately, managing that tone of biting sarcasm was rather hard when all you could do was wheeze.

"Whatever. Now go to sleep and in the morning have light breakfast ready for me and your sister. Tomorrow night we´re going to the ball."

"Does that mean you´re really taking me?" Shadow asked, picking himself off the floor. His tone was actually laced with enthusiasm, something that hadn´t been there for a long, long time…

"I said you could go when there were no more Hero Chao contaminating my farm, right? Now leave me _alone_!"

Shadow limped out of the room as fast as he could. In the kitchen, he rubbed alcohol on his various cuts, hissing at the pain. Still, he couldn't bring himself to feel miserable as he finally collapsed on the heap of ashes he called 'bed'. He was going to see something else than this hell-hole for once…and then there still was that blue hedgehog, his face already blurred in his memory, calling out to him while shivering in the rain. Those green eyes…

Confused, but feeling warm inside, Shadow curled up.

--

"Prince Sonic! My Prince! Are you _ready_?"

A tired and most unwilling hedgehog stuck his head out of the covers and wished he was anyone else but himself today.

No such luck.

"If I say 'no', does that mean I can stay underneath the sheets?"

"Oh my Prince, what would we do without your quips? But I am so glad you´re back, Prince Sonic, we were all so _worried_ when you disappeared yesterday night…and you still won´t talk about where you were, will you?" The squirrel asked, as she had stepped inside and was getting out his clothes for the day while the hedgehog had sat up in his bed, yawning.

"I´d really rather not, Rosie."

"Hmm," she said non-committally, but the gaze she gave him was a caring and warm one. "What could it have been, I wonder…you have not been sneaking out to see a girl prematurely, have you, my Prince?" She gave a small chuckle that turned into a (where Sonic was concerned) entirely inappropriate full-fledged grin, as he sputtered.

"Oh well, I guess we´ll all see at the ball tonight, won´t we?" She laughed once more, then left him to his morning routine, closing the door while humming.

"Ugh. Not that I needed to be reminded of _that._"

In truth, he couldn´t really recall most of last night, either…he had been standing at that lake, and then there had been another hedgehog, yeah…a red-striped, black-furred and prideful hedgehog, he had thought back then, but right now, he couldn´t even recall that stranger´s face…for some reason he had the distinct impression the guy had looked _hot_, though.

_Um, yeah. Probably bad idea to go there right now.  
_

Slipping on some gloves and a simple jacket with a sigh, he walked out of his chambers, not-quite-ready to face the probably most horrible day of his life.

--

"Well, Shadow, are you ready?" Black Doom asked, completely unaware of the concept of parallel storyline constructions.

"H-huh?" The black hedgehog mumbled, blinking as he raised his head from where he had been lying in his resting place.

"We´re leaving in half an hour for the royal castle. Why aren´t you even dressed yet?" the monster-like alchemist enquired, his eyes narrowing while his tone carried the air of a smirk. He himself had polished his funky pendants and smeared some fresh blood onto his robe, (which the hedgehog fervently hoped had not belonged to a forgotten Hero Chao). Basically, the message of his outfit was _still_ 'evil, homicidal overlord', but now it also said 'evil, homicidal overlord _who knows it_' which was probably even worse.

"Dressed?" Shadow had stood up and looked at him. "Dressed in what? The only clothes I ever had you took from me. I was expecting you to give them back for tonight," he said, an uneasy feeling spreading through his stomach.

"But Shadow… you know I _sold_ everything we took from old Gerald´s household…" Black Doom replied, his words as innocent as a coiled snake in a cradle, and Shadow felt his mouth run dry.

"But…but then what am I supposed to _wear?_! I can´t go dressed like _this!_" he replied, indicating his torn attire with a growing sense of panic.

"Well, that's a problem of yours, isn't it?"

"Daddy! Are we going?!" the high-pitched voice of the horrible mistake that was his sister screeched through the house.

"In a minute, darling, in a minute! But it seems your brother doesn't have any clothes to wear!"

"What? Why is _he_ going? He would only embarrass us!"

Shadow´s eyes narrowed, but he swallowed the commentary that embarrassing a floating starfish who was trying to wear a push-up bra shouldn´t even be _possible_.

"I did my jobs. You can´t leave me here," he shot back instead, glaring up at Black Doom.

His step-uncle scowled. Shadow actually managing to get rid of the hero Chao had not been part of the plan. "Hmph. I want to see that for myself."

xxx

"There. Not a single white Chao in sight. Now hold your part of the deal," Shadow said, sounding braver than he felt as they were at the pens behind the house.

Black Doom floating next to him looked thoroughly displeased that the hedgehog seemed to be right.

"Oh yeah? Then what´s this over here?" Eyeleen commented from the side. Despite her having virtually no features, she still seemed to radiate a sense of smugness that sent worry coursing through Shadow.

One of her tentacles pointed down…where a single Chao sat. It looked up at them, its halo temporarily becoming a question mark.

"A hero Chao! You didn't do your job at all!"

"_What_?! I did! Can´t you see there´s still rests of her otiae cocoon? She's only just _evolved_, for Chaos' sake! How should I have gotten rid of her the last night?!"

Black Doom shrugged, his sucking hole turned into a distorted grin.

"No clothes, and shoddy work…you will be staying here, Shadow."

"NO!"

"Back in the house. Now."

"But-!"

A clawed hand closed around Shadow´s neck, cutting off his air supply. Shadow struggled, but Black Doom was just too strong…blackness enveloped him, and as he finally regained consciousness, he was all alone in the house, darkness in front of the windows.

Shadow curled up in the fireplace, just wanting to forget the probably most horrible day in his life.

xxx

"Sonic! Please come here and take your place next to Amy!"

"Are you _sure_ I'm really the Crown Prince and not some lucky bastard child?"

"I was in labour with you for twenty hours and _yes_, I'm sure. Now come here."

Sonic sighed and trotted over to the rest of his family. A smiling, lilac-coloured Queen Aleena was dressed in a magnificent purple satin gown which glittered in the light of the chandeliers and could only be surpassed in beauty by his sister, who was twenty years younger than her and glowing with excitement.

"Oh Sonic! I´m gonna dance with Shiny!"

"That your polished pet rock?"

"NO! My boyfriend, silly! Silver!"

"Oh, yeah. 'Shiny'. Of course," Sonic replied, the edges of his mouth twitching. Maybe seeing Silver´s face when Amy called him like that in front of all the _other_ young nobles would be at least some entertainment tonight.

He shuffled uncomfortably in his tight clothing. Just because Rosie thought the green and gold brocade vest would look really _good_ when you could practically see every single muscle move underneath it, it didn't mean Sonic agreed. At least he had escaped the pants. Now _there_ had been a threat to the lineage of the royal family.

What _was_ it with females and clothing, anyway? Amy complained when she had to carry anything heavier than her purse, yet tonight she was wearing a low-cut dress of red velvet that had to weigh at least 40 pounds. And still moved like she had overdosed on caffeine. Sonic shook his head and sighed.

The three members of the royal family aligned themselves on top of the staircase, getting ready to descend and thereby open the ball.

xxx

Shadow´s head flew up as he thought he´d heard something.

"_Is she awake?"_

"_I don't know, honey, do you remember your lines?" _

"_Yes! Yes! I wanna start now!"_

"_That's fine. You go ahead." _

Noiseless and stealthily, Shadow had gotten to his feet. There _were_ people in his house, and they were strangers. Both of the two voices had sounded female, he was sure of that. His eyes scanned the darkness, intent on locating the intruders, while his hand had grasped around the hilt of a kitchen knife. He didn't care personally whether any of Black Doom's belongings where stolen, but if the alchemist returned home and Shadow hadn't been able to stop the burglars, he was likely to end up on the monster's dissecting table.

_I'm like his goddamn watchdog, _the hedgehog thought, and while he felt utterly sick of it, he was just as much looking forward to taking it out on the intruders.

That is, until suddenly an incredibly bright yellow light exploded in front of his eyes, letting him stumble backwards in visual agony.

"Argh!"

"Salagadoola, mechicka boola, bibbidy bobbidy boo! Put 'em together and what have you got! Bibbidy boppidiy boo!"

"_Arrrgh_!"

* * *

Whoopdeedoo, 'nother chappie up, and truthfully, my favourite part only starts now. :D Hope you found the ride entertaining (and I think with Doom's Eye in a bra Shadow's game might at least have gotten the higher rating Shadow wishes it had) and please review! Fav lines, scenes, most scarring moment...or just guess who our fairy godmothers could be! XD

_**Next Up:**_

_The fourth part, telling of all the wrong princesses, the cleaning of hedgehogs and casual regicide._

**Chapter Four: It's a Kind of Magic...**


	4. It's A Kind of Magic

Not a single OC in this chappie. See if you recognize the charas from the various sonicverses! ;)

* * *

_The fourth part, telling off all the wrong princesses, the cleaning of hedgehogs and casual regicide. _

**Chapter 4: It's a ****Kind of Magic…**

"Salagadoola, mechicka boola, bibbidy bobbidy boo! Put them together and what have you got? Bibbidy bobbidy boo!"

Shadow stared at the...creature that had just appeared, a knife and a frying pan still in his hands.

"Hi there!!" it called out cheerfully, using more happy exclamation marks than any sane person ever should. The black hedgehog squinted against the bright yellow halo that surrounded the small form…and wondered just for a moment whether Mr. Sanity might not have chosen to depart for the ball tonight, too.

In front of him floated a rabbit. The girl didn't have wings, but just _hovered, _waving some kind of stick with a star glued to it around in a rather unsettling way. She was also wearing a simple, short, sunflower-coloured dress that flowed from her youthful (read: flat-chested) figure nicely, and was now winking at him with her large, enthusiastic chocolate eyes.

"Bibbidy Bobbidy Boo! I'm your fairy godmother, Cream!"

Before Shadow's utter 'wtf'-face could lower its jaw any closer to the ground, he was already blinded by a _second_ flash of light, this one bright and purple.

"Salagadoola, mechicka boola, bibbidy bobbidy boo! It'll do magic believe it or not! Bibbidy Bobbidy Boo!"

Another person materialized, her voice identifying her as the second speaker he had heard earlier. She was older than the girl, probably in her early twenties and wore a glittering purple dress that was a lot tighter (and a lot more revealing) than the yellow one, slit up high at the thighs. Black batwings flared behind her and the white-furred, turquoise-eyed female flashed Shadow a sharp-edged, dazzling smile.

"Hello there, Darling! I'm your fairy godmother, Rouge the Bat!"

Silence ensued. Both of the new arrivals floated before him in thin air, seemingly waiting for something. Finally, 'Rouge''s expression became annoyed.

"Look, you have to show up, too. Quit messing up our act every time!" she shouted at seemingly nothing, ramming her fists into her hip. Shadow had started to back away – dissecting table or not, he was _not_ going to fight with a schizophrenic – but then a bodyless voice suddenly snarled out of nowhere, making him freeze.

"Forget it, batgirl, I'm _not_ doing it!"

The black hedgehog's eyes grew wide. That third voice had sounded considerably deeper, considerably more pissed and considerably more _male. _

"You know you have to! It's in your freakin contract!" the white godmother/ witch/ complete lunatic hissed, her fangs flashing dangerously. Nothing happened for a moment, but then suddenly a puff of red smoke erupted, temporarily blinding Shadow and making him cough. His watery eyes blinked and he thought he could discern a third figure.

"Salagadoola, mechicka boola, make a comment and you die. Bibbidy Bobbidy screw it," the scarlet echidna stated in a tone that was just a _tiny_ bit less cheerful than the previous introductions.

"I'm Knuckles, and I'll be damned to hell if I'm a fairy anything. I'm a wizard and got roped into this gig because these two wouldn't leave me alone. And I want my Emerald back after this," the scowling newcomer with the gold-embroidered starry blue cape and pointy hat finished, looking away as if insulted and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Aww, Mr. Knuckles! Why don't you smile for our princess tonight?!" the rabbit girl exclaimed, her eyes large and hopeful as she stared up at the echidna. For a second, the red male only glared at her unwillingly, but then, the universal power of cuteness seemed to sway even him. The aggressiveness of his stance slowly gave way to something else, and his arms dropped to his sides. He sighed.

"Okay. Whatever. Just for tonight. So for Chaos' sake let's make our charge a beauty, huh?" he asked, less than thrilled, but one could see he was trying. The rabbit's ears wriggled in happiness.

"Yes! That's the spirit!" Rouge slung an arm around the blushing and flailing echidna, kissing him on the (reddening) cheek, while Cream turned around to the person they were supposed to be helping. To her surprise, the spot was empty. A knife and a pan still lay forlornly on the ground.

"Rouge! Mr. Knuckles!"

The two other 'fairy godmothers' turned around. "What?"

"…I think she's fled."

xxx

The hall was still only half-full, but evermore people kept pouring in. The guests were as varying in appearance as one could have imagined, coming not only from all the corners of the kingdom, but there were also princesses from lands even farther off, sent here in the hope that a marriage to Sonic would mean a helpful alliance with Queen Aleena's realm.

The music had already started to play, and some of the guests were dancing – the Prince and Princess had had to open the ball with a slow waltz, Sonic and Amy dancing together, both nervous as heck that any of them would even put so much as a toe wrong while over a thousand people were watching them.

After bowing in front of an enthusiastically clapping audience – Sonic, ever so good with footwork was simply marvellous as a dancer – they had separated. His sister had everything but jumped on the young silver hedgehog (who had just been amusing himself by levitating some grapes) and so far not letting him go for even a single dance. The fact that Silver looked ready to collapse from exhaustion by now didn't seem to bother her.

Sonic, however, had been barricading himself behind a glass of wine. He didn't like the stuff much, but at least the constant offers to dance were kept at bay that way. He tried to glance up from his beverage whether maybe the girls had found something else to occupy their attention, and winced. No such luck. They had by now even formed a freaking _queue._

The Prince scanned the line of expectant females trying to inconspicuously ogle at him, and felt like fainting when he couldn't even see the end.

There was a ground squirrel, Princess Sally of Walnut or something, and a pink hedgehog that was just a tad bit darker in colour than Amy. Sonic vaguely recalled having met her once. Sonia, right? Somewhere further off was also a purple cat that looked more prepared to kill anyone with her glares than dance with them (the Prince privately sympathised with her, she probably felt just as out of place as him), and his gaze also swept with rising alarm over a brunette human princess he would probably have to stand on a stepladder to dance with.

Standing out, of course, was 'Princess' E-123 Omega, a two-ton killer robot wearing a skimpy pink dress as a 'disguise'. She…he…the _thing_ was the creation of childless King Robotnik, megalomaniac warlord from the neighbour country. Diplomatic tact meant that whatever he sent as a Princess had to be invited, even if it was probably designed to assassinate the Crown Prince by rolling on top of him during their wedding night. It said something for Robotnik's slightly desperate state of mind that he thought Sonic would even consider marrying the thing.

It was the girl behind Omega that sent the hedgehog Prince behind his mother in one panicky second, though.

"Mom, I'm _not _gonna do this!"

The Queen interrupted her conversation with Lord Jules and sighed as she beheld her now sky-blue son. "Darling, this ball is just for _you-"_

"But there's a freaking _starfish_ waiting to dance with me!"

xxx

"Hey there, honey, no need to be afraid!"

"We're just here to help you!"

"Come on out already for Chaos' sake, willya!"

"Knuckles! You're scaring her!" the first voice admonished, eliciting an insulted intake of breath from the echidna.

The second, high-pitched speaker, suddenly squealed.

"I found her! Rouge, Mr. Knuckles, please come here, I _found_ her!"

The wizard and fairy's heads immediately flew around and both rushed over to the rabbit. In the light of their halos, all of them beheld the terrified hedgehog who had hidden in a chest, which Cream had just opened.

"Who – who are you!" Shadow squeaked, staring from one to the other.

"But we told you, darling! We're your fairy godmothers, here to make sure you can go to the ball tonight!" the bat smiled at him and was joined by the younger girl.

"Yes! My Chao Cheese told me how you saved all of his friends in the pens!"

"And also there's some stuff about a prophecy," the wizard shrugged. "According to ancient texts it's destined that you go to that ball tonight. We're here to help you."

Shadow had been too shocked to reply anything, his brain still unable to comprehend this odd turn of events. All three strangers seemed to take his silence as consent, however, as the older female suddenly clapped her hands and called out: "Alright! Let's get moving!"

Sparks erupted from her fingertips, brightening up the entire room and the objects therein began to move, accompanied by music out of nowhere.

"You need to get clean! Knuckles, be decent and turn around!"

Before Shadow could say anything, the bathtub, already filled with hot water and soap hurled downstairs, and he was lifted and thrown inside. Brush and sponge began to move by themselves and started to scrub vigorously, scraping off every single flake of dust and ash, moving in tact to Cream who had now started singing that awful song again.

"Bu-!" the black hedgehog started to cry out but immediately reverted to sputtering and coughing as unwanted water also splashed into his mouth. The floor was by now a complete soaking mess, but already towels fluttered eagerly and excitedly from their broom cupboard and mopped the boards, while others attacked the hedgehog, rubbing every single flailing inch of him. The rabbit, meanwhile, had already prepared another spell, apparently with increasing enthusiasm.

"Look at her wounds! Bibbidi Bobbidy Boo, heal them!" A shower of sparkles hit his chest and Shadow gasped as cuts magically sealed themselves and bruises vanished. An unwanted comb made him hiss as it suddenly raked through his fur along with a flying pair of scissors that trimmed the unruly tangled mess he'd been living in for ages.

"I'll choose the dress! Red, like her eyes!"

"No! White, like her fur patch!"

"I don't care if it's rainbow-coloured, just get on with it!"

Various showers of light and stars rained down upon the hedgehog, who suddenly felt fabric touch him in _very _unfamiliar places.

"I do the glass slippers! I do the glass slippers!!"

At that, Shadow finally found the breath to scream something, this time with his voice at its normal pitch.

"STOP!"

You could have heard a needle dropping. Knuckles was the first to break the silence.

"Are you sure it said 'Princess' in that prophecy…?"

xxx

"Please, Sonic. Just dance with a few of them."

"I already did. They just want more of me that way!"

"Oh, darling…" the Queen sighed. "Please, I just want that you are happier than I was in my marriage._ I_ was never able to choose.""

"I know, mom…" Sonic looked at his feet, for tonight stuck in red satin shoes that looked almost Chinese. The Queen put her hands on the shoulders of the Prince and tried to smile encouragingly.

"I know our people like me a lot as their ruler. But what they really want, Sonic, is to have a king again. People _love_ kings. They give a reign stability."

"That's nonsense, mom. You're doing a great job as monarch."

He couldn't really remember his own father, the King. Scourge the First had died shortly after Amy had been born…and even if you weren't supposed to talk bad about dead people, Sonic had managed to get the general gist of the rumours, namely that his green-quilled father had been one greedy, power-hungry bastard.

"Thank you, Sonic," Aleena smiled. "But what I said is still true. It's a privilege to be able to marry the one you truly love. And for once, it's a privilege usually reserved for those not confined to the life on the throne…but it is also a gift I want to give to you and Amy. That is why I have invited everyone, not just the Princesses and nobles. Find your one true love tonight, Sonic, and you have my consent."

"I'll try…" the Prince still didn't sound very enthusiastic.

"Go there and hit 'em, son," the voice of Lord Jules started to encourage him as well, the fist of the noble nudging him lightly on the shoulder. The older blue hedgehog had always been somewhat of a fatherly friend for him, so Sonic smiled slightly.

"Yeah…"

"Trust me, arranged marriages are horrible. That's why I've always stayed single," the Lord explained, grinning.

Which was true. Lord Jules was a dear friend of his mother, though. Sonic dimly remembered his parents fighting over his frequent visits and overnight stays when he had still been smaller…

"Which was not really possible for me as a woman," his mother sighed. "Still, our marriage only lasted two years…right until your father met with that _terrible_ accident."

"Food poisoning, right?" Sonic asked, still wondering why his mother was always smiling when she talked about that.

"Food poisoning, that's right. Absolutely _dreadful_." Lord Jules nodded, solemnly. "Just after your mother had given birth to Princess Amy, too."

"Yes, he was a teensy bit upset over the second child not having his fur colour either, I recall," Aleena mused, apparently in thought. "And then the realm was suffering under his rule so much…"

"What the Queen wishes to say, my Prince," Jules laid his hands on the young hedgehog's shoulders, continuing for her while Sonic was already starting to look more confused than ever, "is that _sometimes_ you have to take destiny into your own hands."

_To be continued..._

* * *

It's Knuckles in an oversized wizard outfit. I want to go squee, then hug and cuddle him until he snaps my spine. :D

Also, yay for cameos. Should Sonic marry Eyeleen or Omega? XD Next chappie, Shadow and his...uhm... bunch of lunatics are preparing to go to the ball, and Sonic is ready to drown himself in the punch bowl before continuing this torture! Already looking forward? Please review! :)

**_Next Up:_**

_The fifth part, telling of tragic pasts, dinner tables, and ponies._

**Chapter 5: Clothes Make the...Man?**


	5. Fine Feathers Make Fine Hedgehogs?

_The fifth part, telling of tragic pasts, dinner tables and ponies._

**Chapter 5: Fine Feathers make fine...Hedgehogs? **

"So, eh…you're a _guy_," Rouge said for the third time, apparently hoping that repeated stating of a fact would maybe change reality or something.

"Well, obviously." Shadow who was sitting on the table scowled, his voice still as stubbornly deep and male as ever. The dress lay discarded next to him, as did his other clothes, now soaked from the bathing madness. Around his waist was a white towel, while his bare feet were dangling in the air.

Knuckles shrugged. "I suggest we still carry the plan out. He may not marry the Prince exactly, but maybe it'll be the Princess…or the Queen, it's not like we had a King at the moment."

"Hmm." The white-furred bat had pursed her lips, considering the argument while staring at Shadow and seemingly becoming ever more fond of both.

"Yes, I think we can do that," she finally said, giving the ebon hedgehog her dazzling smile again and winking, "And maybe, if our charge doesn't find anybody at the ball, there's _still_ someone interested in him…" her voice had acquired just a slight purring at those last words, while she was suddenly sitting next to Shadow on the table, stroking his bare chest with slender fingers and apparently completely ignoring a certain echidna in the background who was at the moment going rapidly from red, to orange, to a very vivid purple.

"_Rouge…"_ the wizard started through gnashed teeth, but before he could say anything further (or possibly summon a horde of sonadow-fangirls, who would probably have torn Rouge the Subtle to shreds at this point), the black hedgehog had already grasped the wrist of the bat and gently, but firmly removed her arm.

"Eh, thanks, but no thanks."

"Aww, Darling." the winged godmother mock-pouted, seemingly amused. "What's not to like about a fairy like me?"

"Nothing," Shadow shrugged, his eyes suddenly no longer glaring fiercely, but looking into the distance, "it's just, you know…I'm not actually able to love."

xxx

"DADDY! I can't find the Prince _anywhere_!"

"Just keep searching, my little tapeworm. I'm sure he's bound to notice you soon, after all, who could resist such a _gorgeous_ girl like my daughter for long?" Black Doom patted Eyeleen's top tentacle soothingly, while the young starfish looked only mildly consoled.

"Just try to have fun, okay? No matter what, I'll buy you a pony when we get home again, does that cheer you up?"

"Oh, daddy! You're the best!"

"Of course I am." The alchemist chuckled, his mouth sucking-hole accompanying the sound with various smacking noises, thereby terrifiying the already freaked out by-standing nobles he had forced into conversation even further, "And I'll even make sure it has been dead for at least a week so it's all mushy and tasty. Now off you go, darling. Make daddy proud."

Underneath a table nearby, a now very pale Sonic wondered whether he could possibly remain there until that ball was over.

--

"What?!" Rouge's eyes had widened and Cream had gasped in shock. Even the stoic echidna had raised an eye ridge.

"But…Mr. Shadow, that's horrible! What do you mean by that?" the small rabbit girl was hovering in front of the hedgehog anxiously, her chocolate eyes full of worry and pity.

"Well…it's not like I can't _love_ anybody. It's more like…I can't fall _in_ love," Shadow explained. "You see, I was not born, but am an experiment of Professor Gerald, who made me as a companion for his granddaughter, Maria…I loved her, and she was like a sister to me. She...died, but while she was still alive – the professor treated me like his own son, yet he was still afraid that Maria and I would maybe…you know, be something _more_ than brother and sister. I do not blame him. Fathers are known for their protectiveness of their daughters, and Maria was an angel you would go any lengths for. So he made a few…adjustments to my genetic code. I do not know precisely what he did, but Professor Gerald was a genius…I am ageless, immune to disease and was designed as the perfect friend for Maria – I am the Ultimate Lifeform, unable to fall in love."

Shadow's voice was even as he laid out the facts he knew, even while his mind was pushing back the images of that blue hedgehog, that still lingered in his memories and seemed to contradict his words…but he dismissed them as irrational and also impossible, given his condition. After all, by now he wasn't even sure anymore whether it hadn't all been a dream…

"Um…" Rouge was staring at him, trying very hard not to let her morbid curiosity tear her gaze to a lower region of Shadow's body. "…but you're still an anatomically _correct_ Ultimate Lifeform?"

"Wha- _yes!" _the black hedgehog snapped, swatting the white hand (that had just tried to raise the edge of his towel) away, blushing furiously and sending all three of them a death glare.

"The changes he made were solely to my mind! What kind of fairies _are_ you?!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Rouge giggled, while the echidna merely rolled his eyes. The reaction of the third member of the ethereal team made Shadow raise his eye ridges, however.

"Why are you crying, rabbit girl?"

All were now becoming aware that Cream hadn't said anything since Shadow's tale, but now they saw that her eyes were shimmering with tears.

"Your fate…you'll never…never find true love, that's so…that is…_terrible_…" Cream had her tiny fists pressed in front of her mouth and her lower lip wobbled dangerously.

Shadow almost smiled. "Not really. If I wasn't already programmed that way, three years of the company of the tentacle rape-esque mistake that's my step sister would probably have terrified me of girls, anyway. No, the only thing that's 'terrible' in my screwed-up life is the fact that I am the personal slave of this crack-overdose household, with a sadist as my self-proclaimed uncle."

The young rabbit fairy's ears had flattened against her skull at this bluntness, her juvenescent mind at a loss how to deal with this. Helplessly, she looked at Rouge and Knuckles, pleading for help from her elder guardians without words.

The bat was frowning and pursing her lips, but the shimmer in her eyes was calculating. "So…you want out of here, right?"

Shadow nodded.

"And you're unable to fall in love, no matter with whom."

Shadow nodded again, and even if the white-furred fairy had noticed the second of hesitation this time, she didn't show it.

"And we have that prophecy to fulfill which states that Shadow, an abused step-daughter, is to go to the ball and marry the Prince."

Knuckles shot Rouge a disbelieving look. "You can't honestly suggest…!"

The bat grinned darkly. "I say we try that thing with the dress again, it didn't look too bad the first time around…."

xxx

"Hey, what are _you_ doing here?"

"Gah!" Sonic spun around to come face to face with another young hedgehog, staring at him curiously with amber eyes.

"I, uh, I am, errr-" the blue one stammered frantically, rubbing his head where he had bumped it against the underside of the table, "…well, uh, why don't you tell me what _you _are doing here!"

"...but I asked you _first_." the other shifted his weight nervously, where he was crouched in front of Sonic.

"Yeah, but I am the Prince. And if I want to know why you're hiding underneath a freakin buffet table, you answer me."

"Err…right."

Silver still wanted to know why apparently Prince Sonic had chosen that very same table as a hiding place, but he wouldn't disobey the wishes of a royal.

xxx

"But-!" Shadow was still protesting as the bat had dragged him down from the table to stand in the middle of the kitchen and was now seemingly taking measurements with her eyes, while Cream was hovering around excitedly.

"Shush, darling. My plan is genius. We'll smuggle you in there as a girl, you'll hook up with someone, no matter whom and he could be your ticket out of here. Even if it doesn't work out, it'll be an unforgettable experience – you'll see the castle, new people, the food-"

"Food?" Shadow's ears had perked up.

"Sure, there's an entire banquet up there, Queen Aleena is a superb hostess."

"But why can't I go as a _guy?_" the black hedgehog regarded with rising panic the various cosmetic items a giggling Cream continued to pile up on the table.

"You forgotten that friendly neighbourhood psycho that poses as your uncle?" Knuckles interjected, "Something in me dies at the thought of cross-dressing too, but if Black Doom recognized you there, we'd all be dead meat. Besides, since that is a ball for the Prince, only girls get in there without an invitation."

Which was true. When it was one of Princess Amy's birthdays, of course, anything male that just happened to walk past the castle gates got dragged in, but even that had ceased since the arrival of Silver.

"Don't scowl like that, Shadow. Just look how happy Cream is now." The bat smiled, indicating the fluttering rabbit waving her star wand.

"Can he have a red dress then, Rouge? Can he? _Can he?!_"

"Uh…" Shadow raised a finger, but apparently it was too late. The fairies already got to work.

"Bibbidy bobbidy boo!" An already familiar shower of sparks encased him and formed a crimson velvet gown around his form, that sent Cream oooohing with awe at her own work. Rouge clicked approvingly with her tongue, quickly making a few clever alterations to the cut to hide any missing curves on his hips.

"Now about the make-up!"

"_What?!"_

"No worries, darling. We won't go over the top…" Rouge grinned, baring long fangs that didn't look half as worrying as the sparkle in her eyes, "…much."

"What shall we do with him?" Cream had arrived with a selection of various instruments of torture, at least in Shadow's opinion.

"Well, we shouldn't exaggerate. I think maybe a little bit of mascara around the eyes, a little bit of powder on the cheeks, no lip stick, but a bit off 'puff!' in that chest fluff sticking out of your décollété –"

Each word was accentuated with a tiny flick of her hand, while the rabbit was singing that godawful song again, the cosmetics raising and nipping at his face, filled with enthusiastic life. Knuckles winced as the eyes of the black hedgehog widened ever more in sheer terror, indicating he did not care for mascara or wanted a little bit of 'puff!' indeed, anywhere.

"Let's have a shine on those spikes!"

"And some fine silken gloves!"

"With long cuffs!"

"And a necklace! He's gotta have a necklace!"

"And now the shoes! I called for glass slippers FIRST!" Cream was nearly doing cartwheels in the air now and Rouge smiled and raised her fingers, when a heavy hand landed on her shoulder.

"Batgirl, that's enough. We might dress him up as a princess because the prophecy demands it, but I draw the line, I repeat, I _draw the line_ at guys in high heels. Not now, not ever."

"Awww!" Cream and Rouge both looked at Knuckles crestfallen, while Shadow breathed a sigh of relief. Rouge started to scowl.

"Okay, Knucklehead, but what else is he supposed to wear? I know, it's not like you actually see much of the shoes anyway, but the thing about magic fairy glass slippers is that they actually give you the ability to _dance_. What else can we give him?"

Knuckles smirked. "I think I have an idea…"

xxx

"So, eh, your sister Amy, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I really love her and all, but there's limits to how many dances a guy can dance in a row without collapsing, y'know?"

"Oh. I see."

"Yeah. And then there's the matter of dozens of scorned guys with their eyes on the princess and inclined to tear me to shreds by now. By the way, your spines are forming a bulge in the table cloth in your back and you either move or we get discovered."

"Oops. Sorry." Sonic moved forward slightly, trying to ignore the various snatches of conversations that could be heard from the guests standing at the buffet table, mostly along the lines of 'Where the hell is that _goddamn_ blue hedgehog now?!' (or: 'WORTHLESS CONSUMER PRINCES!' in some cases) and similar.

"So, eh…you wouldn't tell me why _you_ are hiding underneath here, my Prince?" Silver asked carefully.

"I just don't really feel like attending the ball right now, s'all. I'm also being followed by a somewhat creepy starfish, and I'm not quite sure whether it's a guest or a pet of someone."

"Huh," the argentum-furred hedgehog replied, once again moving closer to Sonic as a foot intruded underneath the table. "Guess we all have our problems, right?"

Sonic tried not to think about the fact that he was right now in a tiny, tight, semi-dark, secluded space with another (straight and taken) hedgehog he found incredibly cute.

"…yes. Yes, you might say that."

_To be continued..._

* * *

What did I say in my profile about this story? Oh yeah. 'All the literary quality of a pogo stick, but hopefully just as entertaining.' XD Well, all I can say that writing this prooves to be too much fun entirely...;)

_Side note_: If I already asked you, please ignore this, but everyone else is hereby invited to please answer the poll on my profile! Which story of mine would you like to be updated more often?

Hope you liked, and please review! :D So I can get straight to finishing up the next part, which would be...

_The sixth part, telling of moveable vegetables, punch bowl projectiles and soap operas underneath the buffet table. _

**Chapter Six: Four Couples and a Small Catastrophe**


	6. Four Weddings and a Funeral, NOT

_The sixth part, telling of moveable vegetables, punch bowl projectiles and soap operas underneath the buffet table._

**Chapter Six: Four Couples and a Small Catastrophe**

"Well, well, well…I think we did a nice job, right?" Rouge smiled, quirking a questioning eye ridge as Knuckles regarded their work.

And they had. Shadow was wearing a red gown with long, wide sleeves that did a superb job of concealing the muscles of his arms and shoulders, as well as suggesting some curves where there weren't, in fact, any. His thick quills were shining and slightly tamed by a crimson headband, making them seem a little bit less aggressive and more female.

And even while he had point-blank refused the gloves, the black hedgehog had at least let them give his hands a quick treatment so his nails were even and the fur with the red diamond pattern on the back of his hand was cleaned. So far they hadn't been able to do _anything_ about the glare, but mostly they hoped it would pass when they finally got to the castle.

"Yes, we can leave it at that. Now we should probably magick the coach." Knuckles nodded. "Do you have anything…round I could work with?"

"Round?" Shadow echoed, regarding the echidna with a curious frown. He still wasn't sure whether he should go through with the dress thing, but it didn't actually feel that bad – it was a lot smoother and softer than his coarse vest and sash, and Shadow's fierce pride after years of slavery was too stubborn and well-protected to let itself be damaged by the simple fact of an article of clothing.

"Yes, round. I'll need to do a transmutation spell to whip up some traveling equipment for you, and I need some material I can use. That's the sole reason why the girls have me along in the first place, because they couldn't transmute their way out of a paper bag if they had to."

"Excuse me?!" Rouge grated, "_You're _along because you damn well managed to break that stupid gem of yours and _I_ happened to hunt down most of the splinters. I'm not gonna give them back to you if you just keep insulting me!"

"So says the fairy who accidentally grew a second tail once. Whatever, I'm already working on it!" he raised his hands in a defensive manner as Rouge was apparently ready to make sure Knuckles didn't have a _remaining_ tail in another second, either.

"So, uh…what is there I can use?" he asked once again Shadow, who had just opened a cabinet behind them.

"Well, Black Doom has this collection and I think they're fairly round…" the black hedgehog mumbled while rummaging, before straightening up again, holding a white object in his hands.

Rouge gasped.

Knuckles' jaw hit the white half-moon on his chest.

Cream looked mildly confused.

"Rouge, Mr. Knuckles, isn't that a…"

"_Noitisnotitisnothingdon'tyouworryyougoplay!_" the bat had zipped in front of the girl so fast she was not much more than a purple blur and was gabbling and grinning at her frantically, while Knuckles had seized Shadow on both arms and glared at him as if he had just offered Cream some heroine.

"Go…play…? But the coach, what about-?" the little rabbit protested, but Rouge was already ushering her out of the door, talking as cheerfully as someone who was just trying to convince the kids that the Titanic really wasn't sinking, no matter what all these running people in the corridor were shouting.

"Yes, the coach, my dear. Why don't you go and find us some suitable creatures for horses? We need six, you know. And a coachman. A big assignment for you, really important. You want to make Knuckles and me proud, yes?"

"Er…yes?" Cream agreed, slightly confused, even if she was still trying to look back and past Rouge through the doorframe, but the bat was proving that a slender figure could block your sight very easily too, if you happened to have flaring wings on your back.

Inside, Knuckles had shoved Shadow roughly against the wall.

"Look, you may wear the dress of a girl right now, but I'm not opposed to hitting you if you pull something like that again!"

"What?!" Shadow shoved back with nearly as much force, angry and confused. "What have I done?! All I did was just-"

"You pulled a freakin human _skull_ out of there right in Cream's face! She's only six! What you want me to do, spend my Thursday afternoons at a child psychiatrist's office or something?!"

"…oh." Shadow mouthed silently, regarding the grinning object in his hand now as if seeing it for the first time. Rouge was trying to take deep breaths with her back against the door.

"Sorry. Hadn't thought about that."

"Hmph. How on Mobius did you get your hands on that thing, anyway? What kind of guy keeps a collection of _skulls_ in his house?!"

"You've seen the scars on my back when you healed me. You figure out what kind of guy Black Doom is," Shadow muttered darkly, and the anger in the faces of the fairy and the wizard vanished, to be replaced by awkwardness.

"…okay. Let's just not mention this again, right?" Rouge sighed. "Question is, what are we going to use for a coach?" Turning to Shadow, she added:

"There aren't any…pumpkins?"

"Batgirl, it's January. That was the dumbest idea I ever heard," Knuckles interjected caustically, earning himself another glare, which he ignored. "No, I don't see any reason why we shouldn't go with the, eh, collection item."

"But it doesn't fit _at all _with the mood!"

"Rouge, our princess is a genetic experiment mutant thingy, not to mention 'she' is a _male._ I really don't think a giant skull as a traveling coach will make much of a difference at this point."

Shadow, who had bristled at the 'genetic experiment mutant thingy' opened his mouth to protest along with Rouge, but the echidna simply cut them off. "Besides, it's not like we have much time to look for anything else. It's already past nine and I need something I can transmute. I'm a wizard, not a freakin miracle worker…"

The bat looked irritated, but too tired to argue. "Whatever. Just…try to make sure it looks less scary, okay? Maybe go for a 'giant onion' look or something…"

"What the hell? I'm not a vegetable salesman!" an offended Knuckles huffed, but Rouge seemed to have had enough. A blazing hot lightning bolt of fairy magic missed the echidna's head by inches, along with a cry of "Just get to work!" and the red-furred wizard was out of the room in a jiffy. He started to transform the skull outside, muttering mutiny and something about maybe making the coach look like a decapitated bat head instead.

xxx

"Huh, well, I have an idea for the horsies, but the coachman…" Cream was wandering around the nightly forest and meadows close to the house, wondering what kind of creature she could possibly find for Knuckles to transmute. Suddenly something rustled in the bushes and she shrieked, but then dared to look closer. But there was nothing…and then two big blue eyes were staring through the leaves, blinking curiously.

"Oooh…"

xxx

"SHINY! There you are! What on Mobius were you – _Sonic?!" _

"H-hey Amy…" both hedgehogs tentatively waved at the pink girl who had just lifted the table cloth and stared at them incredulously.

"We were…err…" Silver stammered, trying to find some words.

"…just taking a time-out?" the Prince suggested. Amy stared. Sonic looked sweaty, had already his vest loosened and was probably unaware of the blush on his cheeks. Silver just looked faintly guilty.

"_Brother…"_ the Princess' tone was suddenly deadly and she had slipped underneath the table (where it was getting quite crowded by now) in one predatory movement, bearing down on Sonic with her teeth bared, while the blue hedgehog, if possible, looked even more uncomfortable than before.

"_Is there maybe something that you haven't been telling me?" _ she grated, her jade eyes burning into his emerald.

"Uh…is there a problem?" Silver asked, looking at the pair worriedly.

_"Siblings' business._" Two mouths, one answer.

"Right!" the third hedgehog turned around in a split second and tried not to listen, wondering just how on Mobius he had ever ended up under a table during a ball, with two fighting royals in his back.

"Uh, Amy, it's really not as it seems- " the Prince was whispering frantically, but his sister cut him off. Sonic was leaning back on his hands, even lowering himself onto his elbows, while his sister was advancing underneath the table on all fours, crawling on top of him like an enraged, pink tigress.

"Yeah, right, you stupid Casanova! You know, I had my suspicions in the first place about you and I never said anything to mom, and I let you come and sit with me and Silver or my other boyfriends, and I was always nice and even thought it was kinda cute, and now, when I truly love a guy, you come, you _come_ and-!!" she let out a strangled sob and collapsed on the chest of Sonic in a heap of tears who tried to stifle her crying and keep breathing and comfort her and not to roll out from under the table while doing it all at the same time.

Silver inconspicuously used his telekinesis through the wood over his head and let the punch bowl on top of the table shoot off and hit something (or possibly someone). Various enraged and shocked cries from outside indicated that at least the mayhem in their little hide-out would probably go unnoticed now.

xxx

"Well, that coach looks like you watched 'Shrek' one too many times, but I won't say anything. I think it's cute." Rouge smiled, before giving a startled echidna another peck on the cheek. The three were standing outside now and regarding the white, round vehicle and Shadow had to admit that it was a lot more refined and impressive than the one Black Doom and Eyeleen had taken. With the little turrets you could even mistake it for a wandering marble castle. It _still_ had a slightly morbid feel to it, even if you couldn't pinpoint the reason anymore, but they thought that if they claimed to hail from Transylvania, they could possibly get away with it.

"Rouge! Mr. Knuckles! Miss Shadow!" an excited cry came from off the far left and the small frame of the rabbit girl was dashing towards them, completely ignoring the indignant stuttering on the hedgehog's part. "I found all the creatures we need!"

"Have you?" They turned around to see Cream come running, six black devil Chao from the pens behind the house fluttering behind her, play-fighting with each other and shrieking animatedly.

"Very well selected." Knuckles nodded approvingly. "That will take care of the horses. But what about the coachman…?"

"I have found something for him, too!" the young fairy wriggled her ears happily, before revealing what she had kept hugged to her chest. A small feral fox looked at them, blue eyes blinking in confusion and ears pricked up in an almost intelligent expression of curiosity. The cub gave a short, panicked yelp as it beheld Shadow in his dress, however, and quickly snuggled back into the rabbit's arms where it only poked its snout out.

"Isn't it the cutest thing _ever?!" _Cream squealed, while the black hedgehog had just turned the tiniest bit insulted.

"Make a Mobian out of a feral for one night, huh?" the echidna scratched his chin. "That won't be easy, I had hoped you might find a person, at least…"

Rouge frowned and put a hand on her hip. "Already your tail between your legs, echidna? Never let a man do a woman's job, I say…"

"What?!" the wizard turned on her, indignantly. "_You_ try transforming it, batgirl! The poor kit will be lucky if it doesn't end up as a teapot!"

"A _teapot_?! If I remember correctly, _you_ screwed up the Beauty-and-the-Beast-thing, if it hadn't been for me, the poor man would _still_ have a spout for a nose-!"

"Oh yeah?!"

"YEAH!"

Shadow had taken a step backwards by now, eyes wide and horrified, not unlike a five-year old who has just been dragged into a late-night screening of Steven King's 'IT'. Cream just looked on with a kind of 'been there, done that, bought the ear plugs'-stare, and set the now squirming cub down on a wooden crate, muttering some soothing words.

"_I'll show you just how well I can transform!_" Rouge all but shrieked at the echidna now and whirled around, sending an angry projectile of purple fairy magic hurtling towards the small fox. It got hit and yelped, before being lifted into the air, little paws and tail flailing. Soon the violet glitter cloud expanded and encased its form completely and the terrified yips became fewer and fewer.

Then the magic cleared away. Knuckles did a face-fault. Shadow's eyes grew even wider. Rouge now looked slightly disconcerted.

"Absolutely fabulous, batgirl, you _mutated_ it!"

"I…it…" the fairy godmother was opening and closing her mouth, but didn't make much sense. Thankfully, someone else jumped in for her.

"On the contrary!" the fox hopped down from the crate, now not only looking like a sapient, but also sporting shoes, gloves, and a fine, red coachman's livery jacket. He smiled at them and bowed in greeting.

"I am not a fox, but a _kitsune_ and we grow more tails naturally as we age! I can assure you this was no fault on your part, but instead thank you for giving me the gift of speech."

"Hah! Mutation in your face, echidna!"

"Are you…are you really the little cub I found?" Cream asked, for some reason very timid and feeling the urge to hide behind Rouge (or at least hide her face somewhere.)

"I am!" the fox smiled even broader. "You can call me Tails, and I'll be happy to be your coachman tonight!" His two appendages started wagging at this and the rabbit had to stifle a giggle.

Rouge, who knew the young girl just all too well, was not very surprised when Cream asked her to sit next to Tails on the coach box for the ride, instead just ushering a curious Knuckles and Shadow inside before they started asking questions. Before that, though, the crimson wizard managed to transform the six black chao into rearing and snorting stallions with gleaming mid-night fur, and the ivory coach finally set off at a brisk pace through the dark wood.

xxx

"Amy…" Sonic desperately stroked his sister's back while his chest fur was getting completely soaked.

_Murphy's law? _ he thought miserably. _You ain't seen nothing yet. _

"Listen, yeah, you may be right about me, but Silver really loves _you_! He said so!" the blue hedgehog tried to get through to the girl, who was still crying her eyes out. Silver turned around at the mention of his name and Amy's sobs subsided into sniffles.

"Re-really…?"

"Yes. Yes he does. Isn't that right, Silv?"

The third hedgehog nodded, confused.

"See?"

"Then…then what were you two doing together underneath this table?" she asked, slightly calmed but not yet fully at ease.

"Well, we kinda met by accident." Sonic managed a small chuckle. "Believe me, when I was hiding here from all these girls I sure didn't count on getting company."

"And for me…it was just a bit too much. I needed a break. I'm sorry, my Princess." Silver looked away, embarrassed. "But I have already been thinking about getting out of here and maybe look for a doctor – the Prince has been getting these strange hot flushes and I'm really worried he might have a fever!"

Amy looked around curiously at Sonic (who seemed to promptly get another 'strange hot flush' and frantically waved his hands to plead for her silence) and the girl finally broke out into giggles.

"No, I'm sure my brother's fine," she said, smiling at Silver (and sending the blue hedgehog a devious grin at that), "And about you hiding here, _I'm_ sorry!" The Princess flung her arms around her boyfriend. "I shouldn't have made you dance so much. Can you forgive me?"

"Oh, Amy…" Silver whispered, his amber eyes softening and lips stretching into a faint smile as he beheld the drooping pink ears and apologetic expression of his girlfriend. "You know I always forgive you..." he said, taking her head in his hands and slowly bringing their faces together...

Sonic sighed as the sugary cuteness ensued in front of him.

_Yes, fate. Do rub it in, please. _

But he still had to smile that at least his sister was happy. The pink hedgehog let go of Silver long enough to ask: "But Sonic…what about you trying to find a bride if you're really…uh…?" she broke off, concern showing in her face for her brother.

The Prince shrugged. "I dunno. Thanks for not telling mom about my, er, preferences, though. But we should at least get out of here, I think. Ugh, who's spilled all that punch here of all places...?"

xxx

"Well, well, well, Knuckles, it's been a while since we last attended a ball together." Rouge smiled at him, her bright turqoise eyes and fanged smile as dazzling as ever. "Sure brings back fond memories…aren't you at least a little bit looking forward?"

"Believe me, I am as excited as a masochist arrested by the Spanish Inquisition," the echidna replied in a dead-pan tone, but the fairy could tell he had at least the slightest of smiles on his face, too.

They had just exited the coach and strode in through the castle halls, taking a marveling Shadow in their middle and announcing themselves as Duke and Duchess with their daughter of the SEGA county, while Tails and Cream were taking care of the coach and had promised to join them soon.

"Well, we're here, darling. Have fun…and take care not to let your voice give you away, huh? But we have to leave before midnight, because fairy magic doesn't last forever…" Rouge blew Shadow a quick kiss as they had arrived in the main hall and then proceeded to pull Knuckles away with her, the two of them becoming soon just another pair of dancers in the swirl of colours.

"No, wait…!" the black hedgehog choked out, but then stopped himself. His voice was really the give-away here. Maybe he should just keep his mouth shut for the evening, or talk in whispering only. And right now watching was all he wanted to do anyway.

The smells, the music and the lights were exhilarating, and he had never seen so many people at once. It was almost like a dream…

He nipped from some of the foods, evaded the dancing couples and noticed that he attracted more than one stare, from males and females alike. When he saw Black Doom, the hedgehog almost panicked, but the alchemist only gave him a cursory glance, apparently not recognizing him. His attention seemed to entirely taken up by Eyeleen anyway, who was for some reason soaking wet, had an overturned punch bowl on top of her and was shrieking mass murder.

Shadow gave an evil chuckle and turned away…only to see a blue hedgehog who was looking around furtively climbing out from under a table at the other side of the hall. Through a corridor of dancers, their stares met. Both froze.

And Shadow was bathed in Emerald fire.

It was _him_! From the lake! And his insides were squirming, and the gem stone fire seemed to consume his face and burn his heart…

_This can't be right_, flashed through his mind. _Gerald told me this wasn't possible for me anymore…so why…?_

But what Shadow didn't know, as he stared at the Prince speechlessly, was that kind-hearted Gerald, even while he had been afraid of his hedgehog becoming romantic with Maria, had _never _wanted Shadow to be unable fall in love.

And after all, your orientation is mainly a question of genetics…

* * *

whee, chapter 6 is up! please read an review? Maybe then I won't take so long for...

_The seventh part, telling of potentially painful enquiries, princes with no manners and the necessity of popmusic._

**Chapter 7: Dirty Dancing**

Aaaaaand they meet! With poor Shads still in the dress. O.o Will Sonic recognize him? With all the Silvamy, Knuxrouge and Tailream in here, it would be unfair otherwise, no…? ;)


	7. Dirty Dancing

Okay, just how long has it been since that last update? O.o Sorry, everybody - but here we go again! First of all, though, a warning:

This is the only chap in the fic where the emphasis is more on actual sonadow than the comedy, (though it has two very funny scenes) so...you might wanna only skim certain parts. I raised the rating to T for this, since there's a little bit...dodgy stuff...but not much, and _only_ in this chapter. It's a gag story, not a lemon, so try to get through it. :P Please enjoy!

* * *

_The seventh part, telling of potentially painful enquiries, princes with no manners and the necessity of popmusic._

**Chapter 7: Dirty Dancing**

"Yuck."

Sonic was trying to shake the sticky punch from his gloves where he had just crawled through as he was getting out from under the table. Amy and Silver were waiting just behind him to emerge from their hiding place, too.  
"Guess they outlived their use…" the Prince muttered, removing the silken garments (and already knowing Rosie was likely to slap him silly with them when she found out) before he straightened.  
And froze.  
The soaked gloves fell out of his limp fingers while the blue hedgehog could only stare.

At the other side of the hall stood a girl…the single most beautiful he had ever seen. Her eyes burned crimson, same in hue as her dress and the streaks in those obsidian quills. Her face was a lot more angular than usual for a girl, though, which gave her a slightly tomboyish appearance — was that why his heart was racing now? Her head spikes, held together with a crimson headband, were not braided like Amy's, but tough and thicker in quality. They looked sharp…and _dangerous._

And while her figure was slim, the posture spoke of strength at the same time. All this the Prince had seen in the blink of an eye, before a dancing couple soared past, breaking their eye-contact and the spell. Sonic released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"Sonic? Is everything…?" Amy was just getting to her feet as well, but her brother had already started walking away as if in trance.

Shadow felt like a deer caught in the headlights. The hedgehog from the lake — it was the _Prince!_ Did he recognize him? No, he couldn't, he was cleaned and wearing a dress after all, not even Black Doom had seen through that disguise…but he could feel the heat surging through his system, his breath shallow and now Shadow was _sure_ that he was blushing.

His knees felt weak. He wanted to run, just like he had an eternity ago, but the voice, the voice that had pleaded with him to go back the very first time they met, was stronger now…calling out to him, urging him to stay…

Sonic was still walking forwards, carelessly bumping into others as he could only focus on the black hedgehog in front of him. He had never seen the girl before, but she did look strangely familiar…another male and female intertwined in a dance passed by and the woman suddenly bent down to him for a second.

"The name you're looking for is Shadow…" she whispered and Sonic thought he could feel small fangs brushing against his ear, but when his head whirled around, the bat and echidna had already vanished into the crowd again.

The midnight girl still hadn't moved, just staring at him with an unreadable expression. Sonic took the last few steps and closed the gap between them. They were standing so close now…

"May…may I have the next dance?"

Shadow stared at the blue hedgehog now in front of him. His green eyes were hopeful and afraid at the same time, while his lips were upturned in a small, timid smile. An ungloved, peach-furred hand was extended towards him, inviting and offering.

"Please…Mylady?"

The black hedgehog blinked.

xxx

"Well, that's not exactly going that great, is it?" Knuckles asked, watching from a distance. "All they've been doing is staring at each other. And he still thinks Shadow's a girl."

"Oh, hush," Rouge muttered, staring just like the echidna (and like half of the other guests when you got down to it) at the two hedgehogs. "You're just not a romantic, that's all."

"No, but I just stepped into a punch puddle. Does that count? I don't like this ball."

"Hush, I said."

"And they're _still_ not doing anything."

"One more word, echidna, and I'll go tell that floating starfish that you're interested in her."

xxx

"Well, uh, if you don't want to dance, I…" the Prince's face was now starting to redden too, as Sonic felt increasingly umcomfortable in this situation. "I'm sorry, to, err..."

A soft hand suddenly seized his. Sonic looked down and realized that the black hedgehog had grasped it, the touch of the ebon fingers as gentle as it was firm. He looked up with wide eyes into the face of the other to see those crimson irises stare right back at him, the tiniest of smiles on her face.

"…I take that as a yes, huh?" he managed, and the midnight hedgehog nodded, still not saying anything. Maybe she was shy?

Slowly, so as not to scare her, Sonic pulled her carefully closer, one hand of his resting on her small back in traditional dancing pose. He raised the other arm with those black fingers still entwined in his and the other hedgehog in turn hesitatingly laid one hand upon his shoulder.

Nobody noticed the white-furred bat in the background snipping her fingers, but a lot of heads turned when suddenly the musicians started to play a Vienesse Waltz.

Sonic gripped Shadow's waist tighter and thought he could almost hear a small gasp from the black hedgehog.

"Do you like this dance?"

The other only nodded, as if in a daze. The touches of those soft hands on his body…Shadow, who after Maria's death had only ever been beaten by Black Doom, yanked around by Eyeleen, and bitten by those godawful devil Chao, had almost forgotten what it was like if a hand caressed you. If it didn't abuse, only asked, only explored, with a gentleness his bruised body had yearned for so long…

Every single tip of the tan fingers sent electric sparkles coursing through his skin as they trailed over his hip bone, and Shadow could only guess what it would feel like if there wasn't even the thin fabric of the dress separating them.

They were moving from side to side in slow change steps, rotating in a circle and shifting their weight from one foot to the other, while the music was still starting to build. Sonic was glad that he knew how to dance so well, because if his feet hadn't known the steps at this point, his head would have been of no help at all. His hands were trembling and he was sure that his back was already moist with sweat, too.  
The other hedgehog, and the feel of her body so close to him, was sending shivers down his spine like he had never felt before. His nose twitched as he caught a whiff of her exotic scent…it smelled like…

_…musk?_

The face of the Prince showed the tiniest frown.

This girl was strange, and not only because she hadn't yet said a single word or because she seemed so inexplicably familiar- the black hedgehog also was exactly as tall as him. Sonic knew he wasn't the tallest guy in the world (Silver beat him with that ridiculous — but cute — hairstyle in that department already) but he was still used to hedgehog females being at least _slightly_ smaller. And Shadow certainly didn't look any older than he himself was.

Yes, she was strange…but Sonic already knew that he wanted to hold her, and her only.

And then the Vienesse Waltz kicked into his second, higher gear for which it was most famous.

Shadow gasped. Suddenly, his body was pressed tightly against the Prince's, and he entire room was careening around them like a merry-go-round gone mad.

Sonic was leading and the black hedgehog was surprised just how much strength these two blue legs had to possess to whirl him across the floor like that, his own feet barely touching the ground. The azure hedgehog was taking long, powerful strides, yet his lead was incredibly careful at the same time.  
Shadow, who had been forced to be a dance training dummy for his stepsister (despite the thing having no _feet_) vaguely knew the steps, and was just glad that there was no difference between male and female here.

The dance floor had now turned into a massive battleground, as nearly all of the other couples had started to rotate too, moving through the hall at break-neck speed. There were collisions and people stumbled, yet somehow Sonic managed to steer them through the mayhem the entire time without anybody ramming into them.

Back, and forth, and always around they moved with the rhythm of the dance and the music, both of their bodies grinding against each other while centrifugal forces tore at them, trying to rip them apart. Shadow thought he was flying.

Sonic was getting ever more confused. Shadow felt all wrong…and yet felt so _right_…

In any case, the black hedgehog was a marvellous dancer. Sonic could only vaguely guess at the movement of the (slightly more muscular than expected) legs beneath the billowing dress, but the other moved with the grace of an artist. Indeed, those feet didn't even seem to be touching the floor…

His hand shifted on the small back of the obsidian hedgehog and once again the Prince couldn't help but frown. What he felt beneath the dress was not soft, didn't feel soft like Amy had felt when he had always lifted her into the air while playing…

...or it _was_ soft, but in a different way…_Chaos_, this was getting confusing.

While dancing in traditional pose, you didn't look your partner directly in the eyes and Sonic found he was partly grateful for that. Because his hand on the waist had now started to wander and while he wasn't sure that the other was actually aware of this, he was absolutely certain that he wouldn't be able to do it while looking into her face.

The Prince let his fingers slowly inch a little bit lower…

Shadow suddenly stiffened under his touch and Sonic flinched. His thumb pressed into the muscles of her lower abdomen and the blue hedgehog was surprised to find them to be so hard…the lithe body squirmed a little but otherwise the black hedgehog made no sound.  
They were still dancing and soon Sonic wasn't sure whether the stiffening had actually been a reaction to the motions of his errant hand or maybe just because of the other couple that had only avoided them so narrowly. He started to move again, lost on the contours of the other's body as much as they had already lost themselves in the waltz.

Shadow was shivering. But not from cold or fear. He was shivering on the _inside_. Because he didn't know what that blue hedgehog was doing to him. The tan hand was traveling, traveling over his waist and his hip, his navel and his lower back…ever so slowly…ever so shyly…and Shadow was powerless to stop it.

He couldn't say anything, couldn't do anything while they were still entwined in this hypnotizing dance. For his voice would give him away, and only a single step back to escape would mean stumbling and falling at this speed.

Which meant that he was helpless, could just hold on and hold out while those soft, exploring fingers were driving him mad…black fingers dug into the fabric of the green vest on the Prince's shoulder subtly, Shadow squeezing his eyes shut as Sonic had just brushed over an incredibly ticklish spot on his abdomen.

Sonic was confused. His hand had returned to its correct spot at Shadow's waist and while his sense of morale that Rosie had beat into him was screaming at him for his improper behaviour with this girl (although he hadn't _really_ touched anything that counted as embarrassing, if you thought about it, right?) his mind wasn't even listening.

Because that body was a riddle… it had curves, yes, but they were so subtle and in all the wrong places…he had felt the strong muscles move underneath that fur, which was also much too thick for a female.

His hand brushed along the arc of the pronounced hip bone again and for a moment he imagined that Shadow drew a surprised gasp beside his ear. And even that gasp had sounded too deep…

Sonic sneaked another side glance at the face of the black hedgehog and felt his stomach lurch in light shock as she almost seemed to be in pain…eyes shut tight and fangs slightly bared, the other one almost wasn't aware of the surroundings anymore, it seemed.

That face — the jaw was a lot more angular than that of his sister's or his mother's, too, he noticed now. The muzzle was broader, the lips thinner and more coarse. In fact, the only even slightly female thing that could go with the dress was a light blush on the cheeks…crimson eyes opened and Sonic quickly looked on ahead again, his mind now in turmoil.

His hand had stopped moving and he had only started to subconsciously rub his thumb soothingly in circles on her waist, to calm her. It seemed to work. When the Prince looked next, the pained look had almost gone, even if the blush had remained. And it made the other one look…well, not _cute_ exactly. Silver was cute.

This black hedgehog was entirely different and so much more exciting…

Sonic swallowed, his tight vest becoming ever more constricting for him. The dance was just beginning to fade out, the slower change-steps now setting in and he and Shadow were once again rocking from side to side, both of them now panting, even if for completely different reasons than the other, not-so-fit couples.  
Sonic was still holding Shadow, black and tan entwined. And the Prince couldn't help but wonder just what exactly he had gotten himself into.

xxx

"Rouge, if you don't stop this dance soon, some of the older couples will have a heart attack. Viennesse Waltz is not supposed to _last that long_!" Knuckles grated, while the strong echidna was whirling the slender fairy around in his arms, who ony giggled and pressed herself tighter against him.

"But they're having such fun, Knuxy…how could I cut that short?" she asked, while the magical pair moved agilely through the jungle of dancers. Next to them, a silver and pink hedgehog whirled past, completely oblivious to any of the dangers due to a protective bubble-like shield around them. They bumped into several other pairs with that, but did neither seem to notice nor to mind.

"Love is in the air, echidna. And now kiss me or I'll put my high heel straight through your boot."

xxx

'Are you a guy?' _No._

'Hey, I just happened to notice with my groping that you're really muscular and-' _No._

'Hi, I'm Prince Sonic, I'm gay and I just wondered whether-' _No. DEFINITELY not._

Sonic was racking his brains through the last few moments of the dance, both of them coming down slowly from the high they had been going through and the Prince was desperately trying to figure out how he could possibly ascertain just what the hell was going on here, but couldn't think of anything that wouldn't lead to a complete disaster. The Prince really wished he was any good at words. Being a hedgehog of action was fine and dandy, except when it came to certain...romantic situations.

If only there was a way he could be completely sure! Shadow's dress did have a sort of decollete, yes, but there was all of this incredibly soft, lush — _concentrate, Sonic, dammit!_ — chest fluff spilling out of it, so it was even impossible to tell whether there were breasts or a flat chest underneath.

Maybe there was just one way to find out after all…not a very gentlemanly way, but, well — even if the Prince did his best to behave himself in order not to make life harder than necessary for poor Rosie or his mother, Sonic had never been that fond of etiquette or obeying rules.

And besides, he was the Prince, right? So what could she possibly do if he was wrong? Slap him across the cheek? That would sting, maybe, but not really hurt…his lips would have twitched at that thought had he not been so incredibly nervous at the same time.

Shadow was wearing a dress. And said dress had a slit cut out for a tail as was the case with almost all Mobian clothing…it exposed part of the small back, with the short black hedgehog tail poking through at the lower end, so no part of anything that came beneath the appendage would be visible. But still, the cut above the tail was almost five inches long and would maybe be wide enough to…

The dance had ended. Sonic released Shadow's hip but still continued to hold the hand of the other with his left. Both of them had not yet broken eye contact and were heaving deep breaths, probably wishing that this wasn't a fairy-tale thingy so the stupid castle would maybe have an air conditioner or something.

The Prince could tell by the way the dress fell on the hedgehog before him that even Shadow's stance was more masculine than female, secure and feet at shoulder's width, legs slightly spread apart instead of keeping them tight together. Well, that would make it easier…

The black hedgehog had his back to a buffet table against the wall. Everyone was still trying to get their breath back from the excessively long dance and Sonic was sure nobody was watching them closely right now…  
Without tearing his gaze away from his obsidian look-alike, Sonic's skillfull fingers had found their way behind Shadow's back, through the slit above the tail, underneath the dress, down the curve of a not-really-peach-shaped behind and finally…they were suddenly encountering a certain bulge the Prince had both feared and hoped to be there.

Shadow's eyes widened. Sonic blushed incredibly fiercely as he suddenly realized that the ebon hedgehog, just like himself, wasn't wearing anything underneath the dress.

Not that _males_ needed to.

The other had now frozen, just staring at Sonic who still had his hand underneath the dress and suddenly removed it with the same speed he had used to sneak in there. Shadow _still_ stared at him and Sonic found he himself was unable to speak. I mean, what did you _say_ in such a situation?

"Eh…you're…incredibly soft…"

And even years later, all the nobles still agreed that the Prince getting punched in the face publicly was a first.

xxx

"Well…that is awkward," Rouge commented, small fangs biting her lip, as she watched with all the other guests an enraged, dress-clad Shadow storm out of the hall. "What should we do now, Knuckles? …Knuckles?"

"The wizard you're trying to reach is currently not available. Try again next century," came the reply from underneath a nearby table.

_"What the hell are you doing down there?!"_

"_I_ am playing hide-and-seek with Tails and Cream. They said they had seen the young nobles do it too, so it's perfectly normal behavior, for me, to sit underneath a buffet table at a royal ball. And now would you please go away before Cream notices where I am?"

"You blithering idiot! It's close to midnight! Do you know what then happens?!"

"Oh f-"

"Mr. Knuckles! I found you!"

"-f…fiddlesticks," the echidna finished just in time, before cursing under his breath and hurrying after the bat.

xxx

If Sonic had needed any further evidence about how exactly Shadow looked underneath that dress, this would have clinched it. No female could pack such a punch without a hammer, in his opinion. And while all the nobles still stared, the Prince had already surged to his feet and was racing after the black hedgehog, bleeding nose and all.

Shadow was stomping through the Palace gardens outside by now, the beauty and tranquility of the parks an outrageous contrast to his mood. His face was burning hotly with fury and humiliation and in his eyes almost welled tears of shame.

How _dare_ he! As if he was merely a piece of meat to be grabbled at, not a person, that stupid Prince had treated him just like Black Doom, nothing more than an object to be used for one's pleasure…!

With an angry snarl the hedgehog ripped the dress from his frame, the thin fabric tearing easily over his sharp backspines. He was wearing nothing but his shoes now, but that didn't bother him. The dress and his headband landed in some of the rose bushes and Shadow strode past, still seething.

"No! Please wait!"

The black hedgehog froze.

"I'm so sorry!"

Because that voice reminded him instantly why he hadn't fought the touch at first…why he had actually curved his body underneath those exploring fingers…why he had suddenly wondered whether Gerald might not have told the whole truth.

"Please!"

"Leave…leave me alone!" Shadow barked, hoping his voice didn't actually tremble as much as he thought it would.  
Sonic stopped, only ten yards away. The voice…it was a lot deeper than his own and sent chills down his spine, filling him with a yearning he never knew. He wanted to hear it again, just one more time…

"No! Don't go!"

Shadow refused to look back over his shoulder. Refused to look at that blue hedgehog he had thought so beautiful. What did that Prince want with him? Be his plaything? Never. If there was one thing Shadow treasured almost as much as his memories, it was his pride. And while his heart was screaming in agony, he started to walk away.

"_NO!_ Please don't leave…_Shadow_…"

Sonic was almost crying now. Of course, he could have run after the other and caught up with him in a heart beat, but what use would that be if the black one didn't want to stay?

But Shadow's knees had locked. Slowly, he turned around, the light of the distant castle now bathing his obsidian body and Sonic was mesmerized by the sight of it. All the subtle curves, muscles and structures he had felt were there…oh, how he wanted to touch them again.

"How do you know my name?" the black hedgehog's tone was akin to a whisper, husky and hoarse.

"…does it matter?" Sonic had tentatively walked over to the other, worried that he might flee at any second and was now looking into his eyes again, at exactly the same height as his own. Like a mirror, and yet so different…  
Shadow stared into glistening emerald and remembered just how he had felt as Sonic had spoken his name.

"…no. It doesn't."

"Shadow…" Sonic had gripped the others waist again, with both hands this time and slowly inched himself closer. "I'm…so sorry about what happened…why were you even disguised as a girl, I-"

But the rest of his words were smothered when strong black hands took hold of his face and the Prince was just kissed for the first time in his life.

Somewhere from inside the castle "I Am a Believer" sounded out over the grounds, anachronistic curtesy of a certain fairy godmother.

When they finally released each other, Sonic was even more breathless than before and stared at Shadow, now quite obviously blushing, but still managing a small grin. "So that probably means that I'm forgiven, huh?"

"Only if I am allowed to explore your body a little, too…" Shadow growled playfully, and snaked his arms around the torso of the Prince, burying his face in the nape of his neck and breathing in the foreign scent while his hands trailed down the back of the blue hedgehog...their two meetings had been as strange as they could be, the circumstances leading up to their first kiss _more_ than awkward, but still…

"Shadow…" the Prince was running a hand through the quills of the unclothed black hedgehog, "you're not a princess, but a beautiful faker…I love you…"

"No. I love _you_, my Prince."

…things couldn't be more perfect.

_Dong._

"Shadow! It's almost midnight! We need to leave now!"

"Oh, _fuck_."

And while not as romantic, these words were just as heartfelt.

_Dong._

"Shadow…?" Sonic was confused as the black hedgehog suddenly disentangled himself from their embrace and was turning to leave, looking panicked.

_Dong._

"I have to go."

_Dong._

"What?! But I thought…!"

"I love you. But I can't stay. I really don't want to pull you into the permament horror show that is my life-"

_Dong._

"…because you're too precious for that."

"Shadow! We need to get you home, or else Black Doom will notice your absence! If he knows you've gone to the ball you're dead! And after midnight, we're powerless to help you!" A pair of strangers had suddenly appeared at the other side of the green, waving frantically at the black hedgehog.

_Dong._

"I'm sorry!"

_Dong._

"No! I can't let you leave!" Sonic took off after the black hedgehog, despair already starting to take a hold of his heart.

_Dong._

"I can't _stay!_"

_Dong._

"Why not?! I am the Prince! We will live together in the Palace!" Sonic seized Shadow around the wrist, but the other wrested it from his grasp, pain in his eyes as he shoved Sonic backwards.

_Dong._

"_Because_ you are the Prince! Forget about me! Find a bride, don't ruin your life! At least you _have_ one!"

"But I only love _you_!" In a desperate last stumble, Sonic grabbed at the leg of the black hedgehog and both fell down, Shadow still trying to scramble away from him.

_Dong._

"I love you, Sonic…and that's why I'm so sorry to do this." With one final effort, the dark one kicked at the hands of the Prince still holding his leg captive. Sonic cried out and his hands slid down to the ankle, then to the foot. Shadow lurched forward at he same time and reached the outstretched hand of the bat with his fingertips, the whole trio vanishing instantly.

_Dong._

The twelth toll of the bell rang out over the castlegrounds, leaving one blue hedgehog kneeling alone in the dirt.

_Shadow…_

"…Sonic?"

The Prince looked up, surprised. "Amy?! What are you doing here?"

His sister smiled, but her face fell as she suddenly saw how bad her brother looked.

"Well, I saw into which direction you and that…_other_ hedgehog were headed, so I told everyone I saw you going somwhere else, I thought you wanted privacy. The grounds are already swarming with nobles…but what on Mobius happened here?!"

"Shadow…is gone." Sonic's voice cracked as he forced himself to utter those words. Desolately, he turned the object he still held in his fingers. A lone tear fell onto his hand.

"And all that I have left is this single hoverskate…"

* * *

...ever felt like crying and laughing your head off at the same time? ;) Well, the mystery of the 'Glass Slipper' is solved - after all, it's only Shadow with his trademark rocket shoes.

I'm also happy for everyone who made it until here and I hope you leave a review - so that I can get straight to the next chappie:

_The eighth part, telling of Queens with initiative, difficult decisions and the separation of body parts._

Hope you're not too creeped out, and please review! :D


	8. Halali! Hoverskate Hunt of Destiny!

_The eighth part, telling of Queens with initiative, difficult decisions and the separation of body parts._

**Chapter 8: Halali! Hover Skate Hunt of Destiny! **

_Dong._

Shadow landed on the wooden floor with one ungently bump, falling over and lying there with his behind high up in the air. He groaned and sat up, rubbing his head.

"What…Sonic, I…?"

Blinking his eyes open, the black hedgehog abruptly fell into silence. He was in Black Doom's house, on the floor in front of his bed, the fireplace. Everything was dark and silent.

"Knu…Knuckles? Rouge?" Shadow called out, remembering the names of the fairy godmothers (wizardry godfathers) that had transported him back. There was no reply. The black hedgehog stood up quickly and let his gaze dart around the room, but could not see a single twinkle of the fairy magic that had bathed the place into its warm light hours ago.

"H-hello?!" Shadow asked again, now with something akin to panic, before falling over his own feet as he tried to dart into another room.

His own _bare_ feet.

The black hedgehog felt as if Black Doom's claw had just ripped his heart out.

Knuckles, Rouge and Cream weren't gone.

They had never even been there.

Shadow almost didn't have the energy to rise again. He wasn't wearing the hover skates anymore that had helped him to dance with the quick-striding, beautiful Prince, because he had never had them in the first place. A few other looks around assured him of this theory. The wet towels were dry in the cupboards, the bathtub was untouched upstairs and even the frying pan and knife he'd dropped were gone. It had all been a dream…

A painful dream his brain had cooked up after Black Doom had strangled him at the pens until he fell into unconsciousness. There were no fairies. There had only been his memory of the blue hedgehog at the lake, and he had danced in his sleep with a phantom Prince in fantasy only…

Shadow shook his head as he felt blood rushing into his cheeks in embarrassment. Others dreamt of Princes rescuing them. _He_ had to dream of a groping pervert.

And of a blue hedgehog that had broken his heart.

The Ultimate Lifeform sighed and picked himself up. Only illusion. There was no relief coming for him. He would go sleep in the ash and wait for Black Doom and Eyeleen to come home, and then continue his slave-like life until the alchemist either killed him in one of his experiments, or accidentally snapped his spine in a fit of rage.

"OW!"

"What?!" Shadow stumbled back and squinted in the dark twilight. "Who's there?!"

"You tread on one of my _tails!_"

xxx

When Sonic woke up, he didn't know where he was. When he realized, he stuffed his head under the pillow again.

He felt _awful_. Not even sleep had granted relief, because all his dreams had been filled with images of that black-furred hedgehog, his crimson eyes, and the feeling of his lips on Sonic's own…

And he would never see him again.

Now _there_ was a reason why drowning yourself would be a good idea now.

The Prince sat up in his bed, his shining emerald eyes dull and lifeless today. Sonic's gaze wandered over to his nightstead where he had put the skate after retiring to his chambers last night…

Then he actually beheld the pedestal. He froze.

"ROSIE!" The blue hedgehog had dashed out of his chambers in a heartbeat, wearing nothing but his hastily-slipped on shoes and not even caring.

"Rosie! Where _are_ you?!" Sonic called in panic, running along the corridor shouting for the only person that ever bothered to clean up his room (several other housemaids had already resigned). He rushed past doors, portraits, statues, going at speeds only he could - before crashing right into the pair coming around the corner.

"What in the world…_Sonic_!"

"Whoops. Sorry, mom, Amy-"

"I thought I told you to behave a _little_ more like royalty…" The Queen sighed as she picked herself off the floor. "But I am glad to see you at least have got your energy back after last night's disaster. Which reminds me, I-"

"No, mom, it's important!" Sonic was staring at her intently, "The - the shoe I had last night. It's gone! Rosie must have taken it, where is she?!"

Because that skate is the only thing I've got left of Shadow…

Aleena's face broke out into a wide, benevolent smile at that. Amy suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "Uh, mom, maybe it would be better if I tell Sonic…"

"But why, dear, I want to see his face myself when he hears it!" Aleena beamed. "Sonic, after talking to Jules, we both decided to send out a search party for your missing girl!"

"_What?!"_ Sonic was stunned.

Behind the Queen, his sister looked like she really wanted to be somewhere else now. Memories from last night rose to the surface of the Prince's mind and horrible puzzle pieces began to fall into place…

He had never actually mentioned that Shadow was a _guy_, for example.

Instead, when he had come into the Palace again, his shocked mother's open arms embracing her only son who looked completely devastated, Amy had done most of the talking for him. She only knew bits and pieces of what Sonic had told her on the short walk from the garden, but the Prince had been incredibly grateful that she handled the topic with such skill, so he didn't have to talk about something so painful.

So, Aleena had come to believe that Shadow had ran away because she thought herself to be not good enough for the Prince. Amy had also romanced that the punch had actually happened when Sonic proposed to her, and the black hedgehog had thought he was making a mean joke. But, she concluded, Sonic and Shadow had truly loved each other, so Aleena would need to give her son a _lot_ of time to get over his loss and not bother him with other princesses she'd found any time soon (Sonic had especially liked that part).

"Yes, darling!" Aleena positively beamed, "I sent Antoine and an honour guard with the shoe out to find Shadow – they will have every single girl in the land try it on, if they have to! Isn't that simply wonderful?!"

Sonic fainted.

xxx

"Your – your tails?!"

"Yes! It's me, don't you remember?" The transformed fox smiled at Shadow, his eyes gleaming in the darkness. "That was one heck of a night, wasn't it? Oh, I can't _wait_ to see Cream again…" he giggled, then his cheeks reddened slightly. Shadow still hadn't said a word.

"Then…then it wasn't a dream? The fairies and the ball were real?"

"Yupp." Tails smiled. "The coach is gone, though…I saw it getting more skull-like earlier already, scared the living daylights out off the stable boys..." he said in contemplation, one finger put to his lips. The black hedgehog frowned.

"Then how come you're not reverting to your feral self?"

The two-tailed fox shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's because _kitsune_ are magical creatures by nature, so the effects are different. I much rather prefer this form anyway. More versatile."

"Do you." Shadow said, slightly stunned, as all the implications of that sank in. He had really danced with Sonic…_kissed_ Sonic…and now he didn't know whether a phantom Prince or a real one could tear a more ragged hole in your heart.

"Yes," Tails was meanwhile happily chattering on, "You know, I always had this dream of being the first one to engineer a flying machine, but no hands, y'know?" He laughed. "But _now_ I'll make one, and then I'll take Cream to all sorts of rides, and maybe, one day…" he broke off here, suddenly blushing. Shadow still looked somewhat out of it.

"But sorry, I'm talking all about myself, here. Why don't you tell me how your night at the ball went?"

_I punched the Prince in the face._ Somehow that didn't seem like such a good thing to say.

"Eh, it's okay if you don't want to talk about it." Tails, who seemed to be the kind of person who could hold a conversation with a rock if he wanted to, smiled at him, his eyes just honest concern and compassion. "Anyway, maybe you want to help me build my plane in the morning? And where do I sleep?"

_That_ got Shadow's attention.

xxx

"Sonic? Sonic! Please wake up!"

The Prince groaned as the voice of his sister (and the cool, wet cloth she was pressing against his forehead) called him back into the land of the living again.

"Amy…what…?"

"Oh, Sonic, I'm so _sorry_!" she whispered, one hand pressed against her mouth. "I _meant_ to stop her, but…you know mom – she wouldn't even hear me before General D'Coolette was already out the gate, shoe and all!"

"Oh gods…" Sonic moaned, letting his head fall back again. The likely outcomes were either the whole thing being a giant waste of time, because the searchers were, metaphorically speaking, looking for Shadow in the wrong side of the river, _or_ somebody would recognize the black hedgehog and get him to try on the shoe regardless (or maybe Shadow just had a thing for wearing dresses, so he would have to do it), and _then…_

"Oh gods," Sonic said for the second time, if possible sounding even sicker than before.

Suddenly, though, one particular phrase from yesterday pierced through his swirling thoughts like a razor blade in cotton candy.

_"Shadow! We need to get you home, or else Black Doom will notice your absence! If he knows you've gone to the ball you're dead!"_

The Prince sat bolt upright. That was what the white female had shrieked. And right now the royal guards were running around outside, telling everyone that yesterday a strange black hedgehog with red streaks had been seen at the ball but ran away before midnight.

"MOM!"

xxx

"What?" Shadow still couldn't quite understand his situation. It had just come back to him that last night he had fallen in love with and got his heart broken by a Prince, when he previously thought he couldn't fall in love at all, and now a two-tailed mutant (that wanted to build a plane in the morning) was asking him for a bed.

Now _there _was something that didn't happen everyday.

"Yeah, a place to sleep. I had hoped I could maybe crash in your room for a few nights?" Tails asked, hopeful.

"Kid, I sleep in the fireplace."

"…oh. Okay, well, compared to forest ground that's still not too-"

"I also have a sadistic uncle and an insane step-sister of an undefined species. You _sure_ you want to stay with me?"

"Uh…" now the fox stared at him, slightly disturbed. Then: "_How_ sadistic exactly?"

Shadow sighed. "He would probably eat you for breakfast."

Tails looked calculating for a few moments, then his jaw set. "I'll stay. As long as there's a chance that Cream and the others will pass by here again, _nobody_ will make me leave."

"Great," Shadow said, somewhat weakly, "Then I'll offer you some advice."

"Yeah?" the kitsune's ears perked up.

"Don't try to use one of the logs for a cushion. It'll give you cranks in the neck."

xxx

"Sonic?" The Queen looked up, hey eyes shining to see her son back on his feet again, "You recovered! That is wonderful. When Antoine brings back Shadow, we will all celebrate."

"Uh, yeah, about that!" Sonic was grinning frantically, trying to hide his inner feelings of anxiety, "Where…exactly…is the search party headed right now?"

Queen Aleena briefly contemplated. "I believe I sent them first to the next village south of here, ARKwood. If Shadow ran home, like Amy said, then it would make sense for her to live in the vicinity."

"Okay." Sonic nodded. "And, um, you know, like on a _totally_ unrelated note – where does that alchemist, Black Doom live?"

A slight frown crossed Aleena's face. Black Doom had been a close friend of the former King Scourge, and in her opinion, he was just as bad and greedy as her ex-husband. The female purple hedgehog had already been looking for cause to exile him, but so far, nothing had been found.

"He lives in ARKwood too. Why?"

"Um, really not that important. Bye!"

Queen Aleena frowned again as her son departed. She _knew_ he was fast and capable of stunts, everyone knew that, but she really disapproved of him jumping through the window and running down the castle walls.

xxx

Shadow awoke to the sounds of someone opening the front door and trying to drag something very heavy inside.

"Shadow! Help me with the dead pony!"

The black hedgehog groaned.

"Sh-shadow…?" Tails next to him in the ash mumbled sleepily, his amber fur coat now just as dusty as the Ultimate Lifeform's.

"Don't bother getting up. I'll try to talk to Black Doom about you. Get ready to run if he doesn't want to listen, though. And I think I'm going to drag some half-decayed horse inside here in a moment, so you might want to hold your breath." So saying, Shadow left, leaving behind a now slightly disturbed fox.

"Shadow! _Where_ have you been!" Black Doom snarled at him as soon as he'd stepped out of the kitchen and the onyx hedgehog thought his heart would stop.

"It took you almost two minutes to get here! Now make yourself useful or Hades help me, I'll break every single bone in your body!"

Shadow released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. The alchemist didn't know about him going to the ball after all.

"Yes, uncle, of course!" he exclaimed almost too eagerly and then proceeded to pull at one of the animal's legs. As a result, it came off.

"Oh no! Daddy, he _damaged _it!"

"Shadow!"

The hedgehog sighed. This was going to be a looong day…

xxx

Sonic ran through the forest, greenery flying by underneath his blue legs. He _had_ to get to Shadow first and warn him! And then…

_Yeah, Sonic. What then?_

The Prince recoiled in his mind. What should he do _after_ Shadow was out of immediate danger? Up until this morning, he had been arranging himself with a perspective of a loveless life, forever mourning the loss of a lover for one night - and while that hadn't been exactly a nice vision of the future, it had at least been an _easy_ one.

Now he was racing to find Shadow, and when he did, he would have to make a decision. Run away with him, flee the country? But Sonic knew he was needed, that he was there to _protect_ his kingdom and not push it into civil war of other noble families, who would try to claim the throne as soon as the crown Prince became a traitor to his own legacy.

But…what then…?

Sonic dodged neatly around a boulder and hurled himself over a chasm, never faltering in his steps for an instant. If only life was as easy as acrobatics.

He could still take the route of tradition. Marry a girl that meant a helpful alliance with some family. Let Shadow go forever. Or offer him the position of a lover in the shadows with some token position at the court, which the Prince knew the prideful black hedgehog would never accept.

Or he could…simply admit that he loved him. Tell the whole kingdom about it, let his mom gradually accept it, or something.

If she ever recovered from her probable heart attack, that was.

But the alternative was simply _losing_ Shadow. Again.

And as Sonic remembered the feel of his obsidian body underneath his hands, the stare of those red eyes as he saw him for the first time, the touch of tan lips on fawn…he knew that this simply wasn't an option.

So the Prince ran on through the wilderness, the words of Lord Jules still ringing in his ears….

_"Sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands, my son…"_

--

"I talked to Black Doom. You can stay, if you work. He's probably only interested in one more slave to chase around, or he wants you as a mutant experiment," Shadow grunted to Tails as he was dragging his load into the kitchen. "Anyway, you can help me carry the head inside here, it fell off somewhere in the corridor."

The fox suddenly looked very green-faced and raced outside. Shaking his head, the hedgehog went to get said body part himself. For some reason he liked having the two-tail around, though. If only because he was the single thing in the world to remind him that Sonic had really loved him for one night…

Just as Shadow walked past the door to the living room, though, he suddenly could hear Black Doom and Eyeleen conversing.

"But daddy, I'm not actually all that interested in the Prince anymore, I met someone…"

"Nonsense, darling. You want to be Queen so we can enslave the whole population, remember? Lots and lots of dead ponies," the alchemist crooned and Shadow could hear his step-monster giggling, apparently interested in the royal position again.

"Because, my little fungus-muffin, there's absolutely _wonderful_ news around!" Black Doom's voice boomed and Shadow started to get nervous, as 'wonderful news'with his uncle was _never_ a good sign, "Last night, the Prince actually did fall in love, yet nobody knows who this sleazy broad could have been."

Tails, who was watching Shadow from the open door to the kitchen, wondered why the hedgehog had suddenly flushed crimson and looked ready to wring someone's neck. The fox couldn't hear what was being said, but wondered whether now would be a good sign to show Shadow what he'd found.

Inside, the deep, echoing voice continued: "Right now the brigands of the Queen under the leadership of that idiot D'Coolette are touring the land with the hover skate this strange girl left behind and whomever it fits will be the bride!"

Eyeleen raised her only eye ridge. "But daddy…I don't have feet. And besides, if you think I'd mutilate myself to fit into something like this, like the girls in those old stories, you can forget about it!"

"But my little liver parasite! What _do_ you think of your daddy? I'd never permit such a thing!" Black Doom sounded shocked.

Eyeleen was still sceptical: "Then what?"

"We will mutilate somebody else, of course! Shadow!"

Outside, Tails wondered why the hedgehog had suddenly turned so pale he was almost grey.

Shadow turned to run, but before he could even take a single step towards the exit, a claw-like hand landed heavily on his shoulder.

"See, Eyeleen…" Black Doom sneered his toothless grin, "You only need a foot to try that shoe on for one brief moment. As soon as we've pulled Shadow's off, we can glue it onto one of your tentacles."

"_What?!"_ Shadow was too stunned to move.

"But…he's a guy. A girl's shoe would never fit," Eyeleen pointed out, and Black Doom seemed to reconsider.

"True. But what else could we do…"

It was at that moment, that Tails, who had ignored the last parts of the conversation because he didn't want to intrude on family matters, chose to come out of the kitchen, holding something in his hands for everyone to see.

"Shadow, Shadow, look! I found the other one of your skates in the fireplace! Isn't that _great_?!"

_To be continued..._

* * *

Heheheh, Tails. In this fic he's pretty much a friendly disaster area.

But yeah, first update from the other side if the world and it"s pretty cool in Australia! Right now I'm in Byron Bay and have just learned to catch a wave. ;) Also, first Oz-inspired ficlet, namely "Sonic Surfing" is pretty much typed up and written, so watch out for the next few updates in my 'Sonic Drabble Trouble!' collection if anybody wanna see the poor hydrophobic hedgie half-drown... XD

And then of course get ready for _the __ninth part, telling of collisions, questionable accents, and possible zombie shotgun weddings._

**Chapter Nine: Battle Royale! **

Please review! :D


	9. Battle Royale!

_The ninth part, telling of collisions, questionable accents, and possible zombie shotgun weddings._

**Chapter 9: Battle Royale**

Antoine D'Coolette, a light brown coyote wearing a one-size-doesn't-fit-anybody uniform much too big for him, was currently feeling slightly depressed. They had already tried _dozens_ of houses but the shoe hadn't been the right size for any girl. Instead, his men had tried the thing on instead when they thought he wasn't looking and found it increasingly funny that it wasn't such a bad fit for any of _them_.

But the Queen had given them an order and Antoine, youngest General in army history and determined to live up to all three feet of his height, was going to fulfill it!

"Allright, ze men!" he called, "Ze next is ze 'ouse of Monsieur le Doom Noir! Vas-y!"

With people groaning behind his back (and some sniggering about some accent they inexplicably imagined he had) Antoine, unperturbed, walked over to the impressive front door of the infamous alchemist and knocked.

The door, as it turned out, promptly knocked back.

xxx

Shadow had used the second of shock on Black Doom's part well. Twisting out of the monster's grasp, he had made it over to Tails in a heartbeat and grabbed the kit, sprinting towards the exit. Behind him, Black Doom and Eyeleen screamed in fury.

"NO! You won't escape!"

"We need your feet!"

"I need them _myself_!"

Shadow dashed through the corridor leading to the door. Black Doom luckily had never realized just how fast the Ultimate Lifeform could move. Still grasping Tails, the dark-furred hedgehog slammed the front door open and burst outside. It seemed to bump against something, but with a homicidal maniac on his tail, Shadow found he really didn't care that much.

xxx

Antoine screamed in shock as the wood connected with his face. Then, something fast and black ran him over, followed by an orange blur, and just as he was about to get up, an even larger montrosity hollered something in pursuit and knocked him down _again_. The screeching thing following up on that did nothing to better the mood of the General.

"On some of ze days, one should not leave ze-"

That was as far as he got before the Prince collided.

xxx

Shadow was running for his life. If Black Doom caught him, he would die. Tails was still dangling along behind him, completely confused, but holding on to the shoe in his hands tightly. From somewhere close, the terrible screaming of the black hedgehog's step-family tore through the forest and sent birds fluttering away wildly.

Shadow swore as another bramble bush sliced a bloody streak across his foot and leg.

He was fast, yes, but only if he had _shoes_, dammit!

Tails was just about to say something, but the hedgehog suddenly stopped dead and the halt sent them both sprawling onto the floor.

For in front of them was the _hugest_ rock wall ever seen.

A dead end.

"Well, well, well…if you hold still, Shadow, I promise to make it still as painful as possible…" Black Doom was leering at him horribly as the two monsters glided out onto the clearing where the two Mobians were trapped.

"…I won't go down without a fight," Shadow snarled, trying to take a battle stance. The alchemist merely seemed amused.

"And that might even have meant something, if you weren't as emaciated, hurt and bruised from three years in my tender care. Now be a good organ dispenser and surrender…"

Which was when a blue blur shot across the clearing and hit Black Doom with the force of a cannon-shot buzzsaw.

_"Shadow!_"

xxx

"That is not good at all," Rouge muttered, biting her lip.

"Yeah, but what can we do?" Knuckles scowled at the scene the two magical Mobians were watching through the bat's crystal sphere. "You know we can only use our powers to interfere with lives in between sunset and midnight. High Law."

"I _know_ what the High Law says!" Rouge snapped at the crimson echidna, "But will _you_ be able to look Cream in the eyes when we tell her we watched them die?"

The wizard looked down, seemingly battling with himself. "I…" then his gaze suddenly snapped back to the crystal sphere. "Hey, look!"

xxx

"What in the Black Comet's name-?" Black Doom's claw swiped at the attacker and hit him, sending the spiky Mobian colliding with the rock wall and tumbling down to Shadow's feet.

"Sonic!" Shadow dashed over to kneel by the injured Prince.

"H-hey, Shadow…" A light smile crept over the blue hedgehog's lips as if the previous seconds hadn't even happened.

"What a touching reunion. But now, I'm afraid, I'll have to be cliché and…kill you."

"Lay a claw on him and die." Shadow, as if reenergized, took a protective stance in front of the Prince.

"Oh no, that little blue ticket to power will remain unharmed, I assure you…just a little mind-wipe and brain control to make him marry Eyeleen. Now surrender your foot."

Sonic had just got up into a sitting position and looked more than a little disturbed, though if that stemmed from a prospective future as a mind slave, or Black Doom's apparent foot fetish, was hard to tell.

"I sure as hell won't." The black hedgehog glared at the alchemist, while the Prince was slowly climbing to his feet again and wincing. Behind them both, Tails was also there, still clutching the shoe and looking ever more frightened. Black Doom merely shrugged, then proceeded to hurl a bolt of purple energy at Shadow, obliterating him.

…or obliterating the stone _behind_ the Ultimate Lifeform, that is.

"What?" Black Doom frowned as inexplicably no hedgehog fragments rained down around them, ignoring Sonic's shocked outcry, but then his gaze went upwards.

"Impossible! A flying fox!"

"Oh no, I am not a fox, but a _kitsune_ and we-"

"Tails! So _not_ the time for amiable conversation!" Shadow, who was dangling from the hands of the two-tail shouted, grateful for the save, but also thinking that the fox had a serious friendliness compulsion issue somewhere.

"Augh! Let me _go_!"

"Sonic!" This time it was Shadow who screamed. For the alchemist had just grabbed the Prince around the throat and the blue hedgehog was now struggling to breathe.

"But daddy, if you damage the Prince, I can't marry him…" Eyeleen had wrapped a tentacle around her father's sleeve and was tugging, her one cyclopic eyeridge creased in worry.

"I can re-animate corpses, can't I?" Black Doom grumbled.

"Oh. Yeah. But they always fall apart after a while."

"HELP!" Sonic squirmed more wildly in the monster's grasp now, kicking at the arm and torso.

"Tails, release me!" Shadow shouted. The fox complied, and in a split-second, the onyx hedgehog hurtled at Black Doom like a morning star.

"But eh, is that really wise if your uncle knocked the Prince out of that same move just moments ag-?"Tails wondered, but by then Shadow was already gagging in Black Doom's choke hold in the other claw and the Prince's eyes went wide in horror.

"No!" Sonic wheezed. "I'll marry Eyeleen, but let him go!"

"Really?" Black Doom raised all three of his eye ridges (which looked kind of impressive). "Why?"

"Because…I love him. And I will stop you from killing him." Sonic was clawing at the hand strangling him with all his strength and was gasping for air. Shadow felt terrible for bringing the Prince into such danger, but at the same time his soul was flying. Sonic had come back for him…and even if Shadow were to die now, he could do so with a smile on his face.

Well. Horribly contorted expression of asphyxiation, more probably, but a _metaphorical_ smile underneath that.

"'Stop me'?" Black Doom mocked the snarling Prince. "You and whose army, miserable creature?"

_"Ze army of 'er 'ighness royale, ze Kveen Aleena!"_

"Ant!" Sonic exclaimed joyfully and even Shadow managed a happy gargle. Black Doom and Eyeleen whirled around, shocked, but the clearing was already surrounded, the troops led by none other than Antoine D'Coolette himself.

"I led them here! Cool, huh?" Tails gave the hedgehogs a thumbs-up from above.

"Release ze Prince, you fiendish fiend!" Antoine had drawn his sabre now and was pointing it straight at the non-existant nose of the alchemist. "Escape zer is none!"

Black Doom scowled at him more sourly than an entire disgruntled lemon tree. "I beg to differ. Eyeleen, get ready."

"Aww, but daddy, what about the cute guy I met, I-"

And then, Antoine was knocked down for the fourth time that day. But two hedgehogs flung straight at you can do that to anybody.

"_Chaos Control!"_

xxx

"Well, at least _that's_ sorted out." Knuckles relaxed back into his seat, wiping his forehead with a hand that was still trembling from being clenched so tightly during the last few minutes.

"Yeah, but that bastard escaped." Rouge frowned. The echidna appeared unbothered.

"So what? Black Doom used Chaos Control and we all know you can end up anywhere using that. It's called 'Chaos' for a reason, after all. I bet it we're into a new age until someone is actually born who can use that technique correctly!" Knuckles laughed.

xxx

"Ant!" Sonic repeated once more, even flinging both arms around the General, who seemed more than flustered by such attention from a royal. "You saved Shadow and me! Thanks, pal!"

"Sha-Shado? Mon dieu! C'est elle, la princesse?" Antoine stammered, taken aback. He whirled around to his men. "Quick! Ze shoe!" the coyote shouted, before grabbing the proffered skate and almost falling over himself before kneeling down in front of Shadow, looking at the ground bashfully.

"Mademoiselle…"

The black hedgehog gave him a wide-eyed stare. This day had gone from unusal, to weird, to 'They're coming to take me away, HAHA!' in only one morning.

"Whaddaya waiting for, Shadow? It's yours! And after 'toine carried that thing through half of the kingdom for you, it would be rude to disappoint him now." Sonic winked, silencing Shadow's unasked question. If he slipped on that shoe now, everyone would know just who exactly had been that girl yesterday night…but then Sonic smiled at him again, and there was a pleading in his gaze – the same pleading that had held him back the night at the ball. Shadow closed his eyes and slipped on the skate. It fit as snugly as it had for the entire night.

Antoine gasped, then shouted out to his soldiers, who had at first started to look around the vicinity for Black Doom and Eyeleen in confusion.

"Men! We 'ave found 'er! I 'ereby declare our quest for ze future crown _princesse_ a success!"

"Um…" Shadow mumbled at this, raising a finger where he had just slipped on his other skate from Tails, but Antoine didn't even seem to hear. Instead, he turned around with a bow to the hedgehog pair again. "If we may escort you to ze coach – but what is _zis_!" The coyote's eyes, for the first time really focusing on Shadow, suddenly widened. He pointed at the black hedgehog and covered his face with a hand. "I cannot believe! Oh no!"

Sonic drew a sharp breath and narrowed his eyes, maybe preparing some scathing retort, but the Ultimate Lifeform just sighed.

_Here we go._

"Le Doom Noir, ze brute 'as dis'onored you! Chased you out of ze 'ouse naked! What shame for a lady! Forgive me for not realizing it sooner - my men will cover zer eyes as well, _I assure you of it_!" he barked that last sentence at the soldiers, who, startled, turned around immediately.

Shadow face-palmed. Then he took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

"That's very kind of you, General, but not actually necessary."

Antoine hit the ground for the fifth time that day, and for once without outside help.

xxx

When a couple for the first time returns together from their date, riding home to the place of one, they are usually a little bit tense. There are a lot of things to worry about, after all – should you kiss your love goodnight at the door, should you invite them in, will your parents still be up, should you ask him/her immediately for another night out or call them later? Lots of reasons for being nervous.

So, Sonic and Shadow were technically very regular, as they rode back to the castle. Except that the _regular_ teenager never had to worry about being in the process of ruining your country's future and incurring the wrath of a mother who happened to employ an army.

But hey, no pressure.

Right now the pair was sitting on one of the benches in the General's travelling coach, Tails having taken up residence on the coach box next to their driver again, with a still unconscious Antoine lying on the opposite two seats.

Sonic sighed and laid his head on Shadow's shoulder.

"We're some mess, aren't we?"

"I agree. Maybe you shouldn't have saved me."

The blue hedgehog raised himself hurriedly and looked at his doppelgänger, emerald eyes wide. "You don't mean that…do you?"

For the first time this day, the crimson stare softened ever so subtly. A ghost of a smile stole across the face of the other and tan lips parted. "…no."

But then again, even if that date you're returning from had happened to include some maniac trying to strangle both you and your love, Sonic and Shadow soon found out that a kiss on your way back _always_ felt right.

The sun had almost set when the coach finally pulled up in front of the castle. Sonic and Shadow could have covered the distance within minutes, of course, but they knew that arriving with a sort of dignity, at least, would maybe appease Aleena a little.

Antoine had woken up, too, and apart from some French complaints about the echidna army that must have run him over, was fine. He kept shooting uneasy glances at the two nervous young hedgehogs in front of him, but still had tried to make polite conversation.

"So, uh, dead ponies you say, Monsieur Shado?"

"Yes. And leeches."

Antoine paled, but nodded nevertheless. "Fascinating."

Afterwards, he had hurled from the window, of course, but everybody agreed that it had at least been a little bit of progress.

Now, though, the coach had halted, and they got out, walking past guards and servants through the court of the castle towards the main hall, feeling a little bit like prisoners on the way to the guillotine, or soldiers before a Famous Last Stand, _or_ like someone holding up a copper rod, standing atop a bare hill in the middle of a thunderstorm with a sign saying 'Hey Thor, yo momma's soooo fat…' plastered on their backs.

Sonic's hand wrapped itself around Shadow's, black fur feeling warm underneath tan fingers.

The Prince wasn't sure whether he did that to reassure the other hedgehog, or to make a defiant statement to all those questioning, confused glances people shot them, (or whether he needed some comfort himself), but Sonic didn't release the hand again, either.

Shadow was at first surprised at the sudden touch, unsure how to react. Part of him wanted to have it known that he didn't need support or reassurance from _anybody_ and could stand up for himself, but…physical contact to Sonic just felt so _nice_.

The door to the throne room opened and both hands tightened their grip ever so slightly.

_To be continued..._And after an impossibly long interlude there's finally a new chapter! Believe it! (bricked for bad in-joke #1337) Hope you enjoyed the madness in this installment as well and wish me luck as I now travel up australia's east coast so I won't get stuck in an oil spill and leave all of my fics unfinished ;)

* * *

NEXT UP: _The tenth and final part, telling of obscure British comedy references, not-your-standard-riddle, and an ending. _


	10. Books And Spells of Love

_The tenth and final part, telling of obscure British comedy references, not-your-standard-riddle, and an end._

**Chapter 10: **

"Sonic!" Aleena's face broke out into a wide smile as she beheld her son returning unharmed. "Have you found Shad…oh."

It said something for the purple hedgehog that she was a _lot _faster on the uptake than certain Generals. Also, a Queen always kept her countenance, even if her husband should happen to die in front of all the dinner guests (which Scourge _had_…), so her smile never faltered for an instant. It just changed from a radiant one to a…slightly twitchier version.

"Well," she finally said, "I certainly hadn't expected _that._"

xxx

Under an invisibility spell in the shadows, Knuckles turned to a worried-looking Rouge and raised an eye ridge. "…this is the part where we jump out and yell '_Nobody_ expects the Spanish Inquisition!' right?"

"…shut up."

xxx

There was a bit of an uneasy silence as the royals stared at each other. Queen Aleena was currently seeing the Crown Prince holding the hand of a black hedgehog that looked the same as her son in everything but fur colour and quill shape – and unfortunately differed only very little in some _other_ important aspects.

Sonic, however, didn't even know where to look. There was the incredulous stare of his mom, framed on the left by Amy who looked like she needed to go to the bathroom very badly, and on the right by Lord Jules who seemed to have trouble keeping a straight face. The fifth hedgehog in the room, Silver, appeared still rather confused, and when he asked his girlfriend loudly "But why did he bring a _guy?_" Sonic just wanted to die.

xxx

"You know, if we had them all standing next to each other, like purple, pink, black, blue, silver, they'd look like the Carebears. Carehogs."

Rouge stared at Knuckles. "Have you gone _insane?_"

xxx

"So, Sonic…" Aleena finally started, after somewhat composing herself again and both young males straightened.

"Eh, look, Mom, I can explain-" Amy began as well, despite the fact that half of all domestic homicides probably started with that sentence,

"You see, we _thought_ Shadow was a girl and-"

"No, I met him in the forest where he was trying not to kill Chao because his sister is a starfish-" Sonic explained at the same time, both hedgehogs now talking simultaneously until "-wait a minute, does that mean was he checking me _out_ under the table?!" Silver gasped, certain things taking time to impact, and then all three of them were talking frantically, trying to be loudest.

Jules and Aleena exchanged a look, mostly along the lines of _'How come you never read about this happening in __other__ Kingdoms?'_.

"This is enough. I am sorry for giving you all this trouble and endangering the Prince. If you let me leave now, you will never hear from me again." A clear voice suddenly cut through the babble and at least Sonic shut up instantly, grabbing a half-turned Shadow's wrist at once. "No way, you're not going anywhere! Mom, just say something!" Sonic shouted, looking up at his mother with something akin to slight panic.

Lord Jules sighed. "Perhaps we should listen to the whole story first…"

xxx

"It's _not_ 'fairy god-thingy', I'm a _wizard_! What the hell is that hedgehog telling them?!" Knuckles fumed, glaring at Sonic who was making even more of a mess out of explaining things than usual, while Rouge merely rolled her eyes.

xxx

It took an entire half-hour until all details concerning two-tailed foxes, sadistic alchemists and dead ponies in particular were sorted out and even then the Queen did look more worried than relieved.

"So your name is still Shadow, then? It does lend itself to both genders when you think of it…"

"So it does." Shadow nodded. "When I was still in the concept stage, Professor Gerald had not yet determined my gender, so he chose an all-purpose title."

"Ah, yes. You said you were an illegal experiment." Aleena tried to keep her tone neutral, her mind's eye fixed on a dangerously swaying pile labelled 'complications' that was right now threatening to keel all over her mental writing desk.

"I am." Shadow looked her in the eyes, his crimson gaze impenetrable. On a secret note, he was still trying to get the Queen to throw him into the dungeons or just kill him, since that would mean Sonic wasn't about to ruin his life because of him. On another one, it was also…relieving. The blue hedgehog had not been repulsed, freaked out or disturbed at all when Shadow had revealed to him his origin, like he had expected the Prince to be. (Instead, he had only blinked once, looking rather cute, before then asking the very same question that the Rouge had also enquired about…even if Shadow this time hadn't been wearing a towel to lift. It was safe to say that the black hedgehog had at first blushed rather fiercely before pushing a deviously grinning Sonic so hard he fell off the travelling coach's bench.)

But it had not changed the fact that this _acceptance_ Sonic was able to give had made Shadow feel happy like he hadn't in years.

"But Mom, what does that have that to do with _anything?" _Sonic asked at that, gesturing in agitation. "Everybody who has a problem with that can just emigrate to Robuttnik's place and keep their trap shut!"

"Sonic! That is not how I taught you to think of your people!" Aleena surged to her feet at this, more shocked than angry. It had always been her worst nightmare to see her son grow up to become like the previous King – but then her expression softened again as she heard the next words.

"Mom…I love him."

"Sonic…" Aleena spoke softly, but insisting.

"No." The younger blue hedgehog gripped the black one's hand only tighter. "I could never leave him. If there's anyone to be my partner, it's going to be Shadow."

"And what do you say?" Jules suddenly spoke up, his brown eyes fixing on the black hedgehog. "I haven't yet heard you utter your opinion to this at all."

"…I don't care what happens to me. I only want to make Sonic happy," Shadow said, and everyone could see how his words hit straight home with Aleena who suddenly had to swallow and look away, "And maybe chain the rest of my family up, if possible."

"Oh. Yes, of course. Black Doom, we have to do something about him," the purple hedgehog quickly admitted, attempting to adopt a business-like approach again while Sonic had to snort at Shadow's last wish.

"But Mom, do we have to decide anything _today_?" Amy asked. "I mean, Sonic and Shadow could just live in the Palace until everybody has gotten used to it, and then, later…"

"Unfortunately, no." The Queen shook her head. "It has been decreed that the Prince is to choose a bride at the ball and announce her today. Otherwise, there would be unrest among the other noble families who are just waiting for a chance to have a go at the throne. It was a chore giving you time up until now, even," she said, sounding tired for the first time since they'd seen her today and Sonic could feel his stomach clenching up as once again the thousands of threads that governed a royal life were threatening to tie him down and suffocate him…

"You said if me or Amy found their one true love today at the ball, you would give your consent," the Prince said quietly, not looking at his mother.

"He saved the Chao, mom. Surely he would be a good ruler." Amy nodded, nudging her boyfriend. "Right, Shiny?"

"Yes. Anything to keep the Prince occupied. Eh, I mean _happy!_"

"If I may also add my say," Jules stepped forward, "I think Sonic wouldn't be the first royal to engage in a somewhat…unusual relationship. Isn't that so, _my Queen_?" he asked, inconspicuously stepping behind a surprised Prince at this and laying his hands on the younger hedgehog's shoulders, their fur colours perfectly matching, and Jules waggling his eyebrows until Aleena gave him a dead-pan look.

"Jules. I'll have you thrown into the dungeons for High Treason."

The older blue hedgehog merely laughed, before whispering something into her Majesty's ear – Amy couldn't understand anything besides it having something to do with chains, whips and 'dungeon setting indeed', before her mother hissed something so fiercely that Jules stumbled backwards, still chuckling, but didn't dare to open his mouth again. Sometimes, the older hedgehog reminded her way too much of Sonic, really.

"So, uh…how do you like this family you're about to marry into?" The Prince asked at that, giving his black-furred companion a slightly lop-sided smile.

Shadow looked at the collected hedgehogs.

There was the borderline case of homophobia, Silver, (who was currently trying to keep Amy in between Sonic and himself at all times), the Princess Amy whose hobby was calling her boyfriends by names sounding like a bathroom cleaning foam, then his azure lover beside him, who seemed more fit for the title 'Suicidal Knight' than 'Crown Prince' and finally Jules and Aleena, apparently in an illicit relationship that could cost them all their heads at some point.

Shadow smiled.

"I like it already."

"That is nice of you to say, Shadow, but I am afraid that this marriage is still impossible and is not going to happen." Queen Aleena had composed herself again, and the last rays of the dying sun throwing her into profile suddenly made her seem a lot older than she was, and for the first time Sonic saw in her unmoved face more his ruler than his mother.

"Wh-what?! But _why_?" he wailed, and everyone else (sans Shadow) also looked crestfallen, staring at their Queen with shock. Shadow only lowered his head, not saying anything since he had expected something along those lines.

"Sonic, my son, I love you. But even for my children, I cannot disobey the laws of our country," Aleena said, descending the steps of her throne to walk over to a pedestal. Atop on it lay the tome that had governed the lives of everyone in their kingdom for centuries and it had been an unyielding tradition that 'no man mortal, or of woman born' ever were to change them, for that was what would open the door to capriciousness and chaos. In fact, the very first of the Kings had asked a mage to cast a spell on it with those very exact and conditions, and the result was that even though many brave, skilled, clever or strong men had tried to write new rules in there or cross old ones out, none had ever succeeded and thus, the law was set in iron.

When the purple hedgehog now opened the book and her gaze trailed along the dusty pages, Sonic could feel the dread sinking through his stomach. He knew what was going to come.

"_The sanctified bond of matrimony is a divine connection between a man and a woman, sealed in the name of the Queen and the Gods themselves," _Aleena recited, and the last sliver of sun vanished behind the horizon.

"No," whispered Sonic, his fist clenching futilely. Shadow laid a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head. He hadn't really been expecting anything else.

Because life wasn't a fairy tale…

"No! Cream, get back here!"

All heads whipped around as suddenly a slim figure was dashing across the room, little wings on her back fluttering frantically as they gave her an additional boost. Her brown eyes were blazing and lower lip jutting out dangerously as she shot into the direction of the book, not even caring that Silver and Jules had to hastily stumble out of her way. The cry, however, had come from a white-furred bat who now emerged from behind a column at the back of the throne hall, a red wizard of undefined species on her heels.

"Rouge? Knuck-?" Shadow began, unheard in the general surprised gasps and exclamations as the little girl now skidded into the pedestal and clutched at the book.

"I _won't_ go back! It said we were supposed to make Shadow happy!" she shouted back towards the other two newcomers who now scrambling past the astonished royals, muttering apologies.

"Rouge, this is _so_ screwed up-"

"I know! Cream, please let go of that book." The bat had bent down next to the rabbit and was trying to coax it from her, who held it tightly to her chest.

"Uhm, excuse me, but this _is_ royal property…" Jules started at this, while Sonic snipped his fingers.

"Hey, I know you! I saw you taking Shadow away!" he exclaimed, pointing at the white bat.

"Then _they_ are Shadow's fairy godmothers?" Amy asked, incredulous. "I always thought they would be more…I dunno, magic-like."

"Well, the red guy _is_ wearing a wizard hat," Sonic pointed out, all of them aware that the conversation had taken a turn for the bizarre while all were too surprised to get their thoughts sorted. Meanwhile, the little rabbit still refused to hand back the book of laws.

"It _said_ we should make Shadow happy, so we will! It's not fair when he can't marry the one he loves!"

"Cream, darling, we can't change the laws…"

"Yes, we can. The sun has gone down so we can help people again." The girl nodded eagerly.

"What are you, reverse vampires?" Sonic raised an eye ridge, before his mother finally seemed to get her bearings back.

"…I want an explanation. And the book."

"I'm very sorry, your Majesty, but if we take the book, Cream cries," Knuckles said somewhat desolately.

"And you are…?"

"Knuckles. Knuckles the Echidna. Maybe I should explain our role in this some more…"

xxx

"So, you hid in the throne room because you weren't sure what to do and then your little team member here decided to take fate into her own paws?" Jules summed it up at the end and the fairies nodded. The older blue hedgehog looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, why don't we try it?"

"Try what?" Aleena looked at her lover, slightly taken aback.

"Try to change the laws so Sonic can marry, of course! We have magic assistance now, maybe it'll work," Jules said, giving them a confident smile.

Knuckles shook his head. "Not really. The magic of this book is _ancient_, not even we can undo that spell. It is like it is. 'No man mortal, or of woman born' will be able to have any effect on it."

"Then let _me_ try it! I'm a _girl_!" Amy suddenly piped up, smiling and Aleena's eyes grew wide. "Of course! Why haven't we ever thought of that?"

"But it's always like this, isn't it?" the Princess smiled, taking the book from unresisting hands of the rabbit and opened it on the section pertaining to marriage. "I've read _dozens_ of fairy tales like this. You know, all of that 'speak _friend_ and the door shall open' nonsense, and these spells _always_ have a back-" she broke off when she tried to scribble on the page and the perfectly working pencil suddenly crumbled to dust.

An awkward silence followed.

"Erm. Well. Maybe this isn't your typical spell," Silver finally ventured, addressing all of them who were currently sitting around in a very un-royal-like circle on the floor. "Maybe there's something we missed."

"Hmm." Rouge pursed her lips. "Maybe it was a very picky magician. Perhaps it only works if the person is both immortal _and_ female – in which case, let _me_ try it."

"You? You're an immortal?" Aleena asked at this, genuinely taken aback. Rouge grinned.

"We're mythical creatures, your majesty. Our given benefits aren't just company-paid health insurances." Still smiling, she pulled another pen forth from a hidden pocket on her dress, opened the book, set the tip on the page…

…and shrieked just a _little_ when the pen burst into flame.

Knuckles facepalmed.

"Let's face it. This isn't going to work, ever." He stood up. "I'm going to take a walk, this is a waste of time…"

"Hmm. No, it must be something about the wording. What have we missed with Rouge…"

Sonic scratched his ear. "Shadow, help me. After all, you _have_ to be clever what with living with all those scientist-hey, wait!" The younger blue hedgehog had leapt up. "Of course! It's because of that 'of woman born' stuff! Rouge had a mother, but Shadow didn't!"

The black hedgehog scowled. "Hey, you don't have to rub it in…"

Sonic grasped the shoulders of the other, delighted. "No, Shadow, you don't understand! _You_ can change the book!"

It was just like in a fairy tale. The third would be successful. It was the special one, the main character, of course.

It was ten seconds later that Sonic was bandaging the black hedgehog's hand after the latest pencil had _bitten_ his lover when he tried to write in the book.

"I don't get it! What was wrong this time?!" Amy wailed, confused, while Sonic was still busy apologizing to Shadow who was currently dead-panning him.

"Shadow might not have had a mother, but he is certainly a mortal male. You told us he doesn't age, but that doesn't mean he can't die." Rouge shook her head.

Jules had sat back on his haunches, glancing at the ceiling. "Then _who_ fulfils the conditions? Did the magician mean a female immortal without a mother? What on Mobius was the guy _on_?"

"No," Aleena pointed to the passage in the book again. "Look at this comma here. 'No man mortal, or of woman born.' Maybe it means that the person has to be either female and immortal _or_ without a mother."

"Maybe male and immortal, but _with _a mother? Like a double negative?" Silver hazarded, getting immediately interrupted by Rouge: "No, no, no, I think it's supposed to mean a female mortal, but without a mother."

"Or asuexual reproduction! We're looking for a female amoeba."

"Or maybe we're mis-reading this and it means 'of woman porn' and the guy is supposed to have a pure mind. Which means everyone who tried it and failed is a pervert."

A heated discussion erupted almost instantly and Shadow silently rested his head against Sonic's shoulder. Somehow, in all of the other fairy tales, riddles like these never lead to situations like _this._

"Really, couldn't it have been something easy, like the meaning of life?" The blue hedgehog grumbled, before grasping his lover's hand again.

"Shadow…" he whispered, bringing his mouth close to the other's ear. "You know…if we can't change the book. If there is no way we can be together in the Palace. Even if the whole country was burning down around us, I'd still stay with you. I might be Crown Prince and own a kingdom, but my heart already belongs to you and no one else. I love you."

Shadow had looked up slowly while Sonic spoke these words so softly, emerald eyes dark with emotion, fear and sincerity. Shadow's lips parted.

"Then the same goes for me, Sonic…"

Eyes slowly closing, they leaned into each other, world all but forgotten…

"Hey, what do you say. Now I want my Emerald and grapes."

Sonic and Shadow blinked. Nothing could quite ruin a moment like a surreal comment of fruits.

"What…?" Both hedgehogs turned their heads and emerald as well as crimson eyes turned wide when they saw along with everybody else a happy Knuckles scribbling effortlessly into the book of laws that had remained unchanged for centuries. When he noticed their looks, he raised an eyeridge. "What 'what'? And do you want just gay marriages or lesbians, too?"

"How did you _do_ this?" Sonic finally managed.

Knuckles shrugged. "Easy. I'm not a male mortal, since I'm _immortal._ And as for the second part…" he smirked.

"Ever heard that echidnas hatch from eggs?"

xxx

"Well. If that was supposed to be the fairy tale of our wedding I'm not going to tell it to our kids as long as I'm sober," Sonic groaned and rubbed his eyes as it was a _lot_ later that evening. After the book of Laws had been adjusted, the fairies had departed…and Shadow stayed in the castle, retiring with Sonic to his dorm so both could get some sleep before the preparations for the wedding would begin the next day. Never underestimate what an absolute monarch means for lack of bureaucracy.

"I mean, honestly. We can be together because that red guy comes from an _egg?_ What kind of crackpot idea-"

Sonic's rant was smothered when Shadow pulled him over to his side of the bed and into a kiss.

"Hush. Don't complain about it. And personally, I think _kids_ won't be much of an issue for us."

"What do you mean?" Sonic blinked.

Shadow levelled a half-lidded look at him. "_Because_, Sonic, we're both _male._ Meaning, no kids." Then an idea seemed to strike him. "Except, of course, if you'd be willing to undergo certain _operations-_"

"…I'll pretend you never, ever said that." The blue hedgehog gave him a slightly weirded-out stare, before smiling again. "No, we can adopt one of Silver and Amy's kids if we ever need an heir. You won't mind being an uncle, right?"

"Not as long as you take care of them while they're still in diapers and in the puking-and-grabbing stage, no."

Sonic shoved the other playfully with his head. "What are you trying to do, already make _me_ the woman in the relationship? I thought Black Doom had at least taught you better manners…"

"Right." Shadow blinked. "You know, we still don't know where he is."

Sonic shrugged. "Yeah, but who cares? Maybe he found the love of his life, too."

xxx

The place was green. It was green, it was sticky, it was hotwethumidloudand_disgusting_ and Black Doom hated every minute of it. Why did he have to end up here? And then that _creature_ had eaten the emerald he needed to Chaos Control away, meaning he was _stuck_.

No, the mood of the alchemist as he sat fuming at the riverbank next to the rudimentary hut was bad, and by no means improved by the delighted giggling of Eyeleen in his back, or when loud footsteps heralded the arrival of the other creature that lived here.

"Are you still so gloomy, Mr. Doomy?" a deep, slow voice enquired, its owner sounding so cheerful Black Doom wanted to strangle puppies in front of him. "You can be happy now, I caught a big fish for tonight!"

"Ooooh, did you hear that, my love?" Eyeleen cooed to her new boyfriend sitting at her lower tentacles. "It's going to be fish _again_! How wonderful, it means we will be able to eat the bait! Oh, I've never been so happy in my _life, _and all because I met you_._"

"Ribbit," Froggy replied, summing all of his feelings on the issue up.

xxx

And while Black Doom most certainly wasn't, Sonic and Shadow, and everyone else in the realm during the following Golden Era of the Two Kings, lived

Happily.

Ever.

After.

_Fin_

Wheee, this crackpot of a story is finished! I have to say I had a _lot _of fun writing this and I hope that goes for reading it, too. I almost feel affectionate for Doom's Eye now and I think that's a bad sign. Hope you find some amusement in my other stories, too (if you liked this one, try "Sonic Drabble Trouble!", that's where most of my other absurdity is contained - oh, and "Wikipedia: Hedgehogs" of course. ;) And yes, it will be completed!)

Thank you all so much for reading, sticking with it during the long intervalls, all the awesome feedback and if you read...please review! :D

_-- Taranea, 27/05/09_

* * *


End file.
